day 3- feeling ok

[iluvmybabe]

last night was hard. my new reality hit me pretty hard and i had a good cry. didnt get to sleep until 3am then back up at 8am with gabrielle. i have a job interview in the morning (i so desperately need a job), so i'm pretty excited about that.

it's weird though cuz i dont really feel any different now that we're officially broke up. i think it's b/c 1.) i fell out of love with him a long time ago; and 2.) with his work schedule he was hardly ever around anyway so there's not really much to miss. don't get me wrong i still love him, but it's more like a friend love. i feel bad about all of this but i have always known that i was going to have to be the one to break it off. he cant stand to be alone. i cleaned out the garage and threw away most of his stuff. it wasnt like expensive stuff. he had a lot of papers and stuff like that. going to donate his clothes to goodwill. seriously, he left with a carry-on. he just grabbed some shit and left. 3 yrs together and you care about can fit into a carry-on? whatever. well, his bad. he's the one that left texas in shorts and a t-shirt. whats he gonna wear in wisconsin? anyways. i'm getting angry but really i feel bad for all of us.

i never wanted our relationship to fail.

[nEwMoMmY041408]

Sep. 12, 2009 at 1:53 PM

You didn't fail, HE did.  it'll get better. it is for me...slowly, but surely