I am sick of it. Stop right now.

I am a size 2 on my most bloated days. I am an attractive woman, or so I have been told. I weigh 115 lbs. I don't exercise, because frankly, I hate it and chasing a two year old around ought to count for something. I eat cheese and carbs. I drink beverages that aren't diet, and honestly, I never will drink diet. I eat greasy, fried foods like there is no tomorrow.

THAT DOES NOT GIVE ME THE INSIDER KNOWLEDGE OF THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!

Just because I am thin, and am so without dieting or exercise, does NOT mean I am not allowed to have feelings, much less negative ones. It does not mean I can wear "anything". It doesn't make me a shallow, vacuous idiot.

I have the same life as you--I just am thin. I have a husband who is deployed. I scare myself silly sometimes thinking of what could happen to him. I have a two year old who can drive me up a wall. My relatives and in-laws make the Osbournes look like Ward and June Cleaver. I do not have a perfect life,  I am just thin.

I find clothes I like everywhere. Only problem is, they are never in my size. Yes, that's right, they are never in my size! All I can ever find in clothing styles I like are the so-called plus sizes. (Women who wear these are NOT plus, they are average and just as beautiful as any other woman alive.) I found an adorable top that would have looked great on me and bonus! It was on clerance for a buck fifty! Woot! The smallest size? XL. Great, because THAT will fit. I am not on the secret fashion mailer, I am just thin.

I am not an idiot. My IQ is higher than 92% of the American population. I know the difference between effect and affect. I know alot is actually spelled a lot. My husband, who is a very intelligent man, can't even understand what I say half the time. My name isn't Muffy or Candy. I am not dumb, I am just thin.

I can't even get a decent job because of my size. Oh, don't believe me? 80% of the interveiwers for positions in the area I live are women. Most of them are not a size 2 or even close to it. They take one look at me and little frown lines appear between their eyebrows. I never get the job. In the ones where a man interviews me, he spends more time staring at my tits than my resume(and yes I have started wearing turtlenecks to interviews with men--they stare at my tush instead). When they hire me(which they always do) I quit within a week, because an hourly game of slap and tickle wasn't in the job description, and I have no desire to put it in.I am not paid more for my size. I can't even get the job, I am just thin.

I am not anorexic or bulimic or the possesor of any eating disorder. I am just thin.

I don't have constant great hair days. I am just thin.

I have a monthly period which suck big ole monkey turds. i am just thin.

I AM A HUMAN, I AM JUST THIN!

Stop being hateful to me. Stop telling me you hate me because you do not wear my dress size. It hurts. I don't care if you are joking. I still have feelings! I do not tell you I hate you because you wear clothes I cannot find in my size, do I? If I were to say that to you, you would hurt. I feel that way everytime you say it to me.

I have not always been pretty, trust me. I had a mullet and coke bottle glasses in middle school. I didn't even NEED a TRAINING bra until I was 16. I was teased mercilessly every day for three years in school. I still carry the emotional scars of that. I may be thin on the outside, but I am still human inside. I still have a tender heart that hurts when you make fun of me, when you say you hate me, when you dislike me because I don't look just like you, when you look at me with disgust because I do not look just like, when you treat me like I have the bubonic plague just because I DO NOT LOOK JUST LIKE YOU!!!

I am human. I have a tender heart. I need your friendship, just as you need mine. Stop hating me because I am not just like you. Let's celebrate our differences instead and find what is inside each other that we can love. I know we can do it.




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Comments:

sugar...
Sep. 14, 2009 at 10:28 AM

I agree 100%!!! Although I do work out I am a naturally tiny person and I can never find anything that fits and I cant wear "anything". Xs and 0 is sometimes to big and it sucks just as much. Great post! we rock

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Kelle...
Sep. 14, 2009 at 10:34 AM

I sooooo understand this. Real women come is ALL shapes and sizes. Great post!

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Jaliy...
Sep. 14, 2009 at 11:11 AM

I thought i was the only one that had this problem. i never have anything in my size and people tell me that they wish they could be this small. It's nothing special really. A medium is too big for me and sometiems a small too. I have to wear extra small which they don't usually make too many of. On top of that i wear anywhere for a size 0-3 which sometimes a 0 is too big then what? it doesn't get any smaller than that. People automatically assume that i don't eat and that's why i'm this size and that's not it at all. If i knew what it was then i would change it so i could be a bigger size and not have EVERY person who ever talks to me tell me how tiny i am and i couldn't of have a baby this tiny. I AM AND I DID SO GET OVER IT! .... i'm done rambling and venting =]

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Queenb03
Sep. 14, 2009 at 12:45 PM

good. post.... but i am more of a sturdy woman.... ... i once had a friend say..... Deborah ... you are a pioneer woman... OMG... I almost flatten him....hahahahah

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MamaC...
Sep. 14, 2009 at 1:35 PM

Coming from the other side of that spectrum, I have to say that was a really good post.  I am guilty of thinking thoughts like that sometimes, that if only I were thin... Look at her, I wish I was that thin... Society really does a number on us all, doesn't it?  Classic case of "The grass is always greener..." people don't realize that everyone has struggles.  And we are all different for a reason.  We have to celebrate our differences.  

And LOL @ pioneer woman  -- I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but that made me laugh :)

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mama4...
Sep. 14, 2009 at 1:39 PM

Thank you ladies. I really didn't want to offend ANY woman, no matter her shape, color, heritage, dress size, whatever! ALL women are beautiful! Look at yourself. There is something beautiful and unique about every single one of you! No diet will ever take your beauty away or add to it. No makeup will either. What is beautiful is INSIDE us all! We have to learn to love one another, not judge one another based off of superficial and shallow reasons, like dress size or skin color.

We ALL have difficulties, and we ALL have our triumphs. And if you are on this site, you have the greatest triumph of all--a child who looks at you and sees love. A child who knows you hold their world in your hands and you will never let them fall. A child who calls you the most precious and wonderful name of all--MOM.

We are all Mom's on here--let's love each other, if for no other reason.

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Queenb03
Sep. 14, 2009 at 2:05 PM

clapping..... ooooooooo..... another well said... mama4christ361.....  yep my little girl... is always giving me compliments... not matter what i look like

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Guinh...
Sep. 14, 2009 at 9:15 PM

On the other side of thin, when I see a thin woman, I usually think "I remember when I looked like that" or "I miss my old body". I had a really good friend who was tall and very thin, and I was constantly amazed at how rude people were to her. Accusing her of having an eating disorder, making fun of her stature, telling her they "hated" her, even going so far as to say that she couldn't understand what struggling was because she was "skinny".

For whatever reason, some people take someone else's thinness as a personal affront, as if the thin women of America are thin just to piss the non-thin off. Of course this is insecurity, low self-esteem, and plain old fashioned jealousy. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are like this.

Don't let them bring you down :)

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needp...
Sep. 15, 2009 at 12:25 AM

If you think your thin you should see me! Now I am not putting down heavy people out all but thin is better then heavy both health wise and look wise! Also I don't want to be rude or anything, but by looking at your picture on your page your not as pretty as you call out to be. Like saying you will get any job if it is a man hiring you! Don't get me wrong your in no way ugly but your not gorgeous or anything. I am no better looking either, but I don't say " I was not always this pretty ". Again your not ugly but your not drop dead move over gorgeous either. Sorry I call it the way I see it. Don't get your panties in a wad now either. We are just plain simple thin people that's all.

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mama4...
Sep. 15, 2009 at 9:52 PM

Well, that was quite rude. I never said I was gorgeous, just attractive. In this area, many of the women here are overweight and toothless, because it is very rural, so any attractive woman will get a job from a man. I am really hurt and speechless over your comment needpills. That was a very rude and mean thing to say. I hope you know, I love you anyways. All women need love, even ones who can less than nice.

Plus, I think you are a very attractive woman, as well.

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