My Life

[lonelyangel58]

I know I have a porpose in this life~~WHAT IS IT?  I have 2 wonderful children that show that I am / was a good mother.  Since they've grown and gone on their own journey I feel so alone and empty. What do i do now.  My life of depression is unbearablle~ no little squirmishes going on to take my ,mind somewhere else, low self-esteem~if any anymore~ Dh shows me no compassion, understanding~~I am just here!  I am a new Grandma~9 months~ she seems to be the sunshine that keeps me going, I don't see here very often, not my choice.  Seem to be at a stand still. Joined new group today to start being more positive. Need uplifting words to kick myself in the ass and keep going. Accomplishing something helps even just the damn dishes. My friends on cafemom are the most wonderful women, would so like to meet and hug each one in person. I don't even talk to them often or help them that i know of and they are always there for me. Had friends years ago now have none. Miss that more thanwords can express.  My faith and the Good Lord carrying me for the past few yrs has been a great blessing to me. I have cried and prayed the past 3 weeks every night for answers and still nothing. I know it will come in His time. I feel so alone and lost that i just dwindle around, don't eat right and anticipate DH coming home~~but that ain't too great or fulfilling. He seems to want to give up on everything too.  He is a wonderful man and father~~just never taught how to be a husband. His parents were at each others throats all his life. His dad passed away  when DH was 27, only thing he taught him was to drive a semi-truck and that women are all whores!   Anyway, I have been married 32 yrs and stilll struggle everyday with why God intended us to be together. My conclusion~~No on else would love him enough to keep him and try to understand him and stay for the llllllooooonnnnnnngggggg haul!!!  Will keep on day by day and hop for the best. Try to see the good in everything and everyone.

[ironkitten]

Sep. 14, 2009 at 1:39 PM

Can you volunteer your time somewhere?  At a school?  Senior Center?

 

[1daughter5sons]

Sep. 14, 2009 at 3:57 PM

I have been right where you are. My six kids are all grown and gone, almost. My youngest is living w/ his brother, working. He's out of school now. I was so lonely and would get depressed because I didn't see what I could do other than stay on CM and visit with my friends. 

I went, one Sunday, after church to a homebound elderly woman's house. She enjoyed my visit so much. So I went to the nursing home and asked them if they had any residents that never got any visitors. They gave me a long list. I regularly go and visit them. They love to see me coming. I take a good book and read to alot of them. Most of them love to talk about their lives of long ago.

I've also thought about getting into a book club at the library. I love to read.

I don't know how old you are...but if you are 50 or older, you could go to the Senior Citizen place. I have a friend who is in that and they go places galore. They also go to the place and eat, visit, play games, learn new skills of different types.  Her group has square dances and all kinds of fun times. She loves it.  She has a small group of friends, she met from there, and they have lunch together every Friday.

If you are younger, you can meet people at the YMCA. They have a walking track, swimming pool, a gym, and workout equipment.

going to church and meeting people of like faith through a Sunday School class and dinners after church helps you meet people.

You might want to volunteer some place that interests you...school, hospital, library, animal shelter, day care, etc.

And try to rekindle your relationship with your husband. My friend looked on the internet and through friends, she got ideas. Then she incorporated them into her marriage. They have such a great renewed marriage now. It takes time and hard work, but it will be worth it for the both of you. You might be happy you did.

Remember "A man (or woman) that hath friends, must show himself (or herself) friendly..." Proverbs

there's all kinds of possibilities. But staying at home and not feeling needed...makes you old fast! Hope you find your calling in life.

[becky64]

Sep. 17, 2009 at 1:42 PM

well we have a emtpy nest (no kids at home). and sometimes i seem to wonder what there is here?? with me and hubby. we lost soooo much through his drinking years. and sometimes it seems we (hubby and me) do not talk at all. he watches fishinf on Tv and i do not care for that so i come back here to the computer.and it is lonely sometimes. but i have a job outside the house at a school cafateria. can you do something to get your self out of the house??? that will keep you busy and get out of your house.

[pokey54]

Sep. 17, 2009 at 3:32 PM

Hang it there girl things will get better and you are right God answers prayers on his terms and in his own way, maybe already has and you just have not seen it, that's me a lot of the times answers are  there in plain view but I have goggles or blinders on or something!

[Muzikmom2]

Sep. 18, 2009 at 12:43 AM

Wow!  Sounds like you have a lot of wise and wonderful caring friends here!  Ladies, ya'll have some wonderful ideas, I really can't add anything to that.  Except, dear friend, keep giving God praise daily even in your circumstances and he will help you!  Maybe not always in the way you think, but remember his ways are not our ways, they are far bigger than we could imagine.  Also, I get daily emails from Joel Osteen.  He and his wife Victoria are wonderful christian people who offer great words of wisdom and positive thinking that I really enjoy!