so hurt so confused

[BellaBear]

So i left my husband back in july because he was constantly getting drunk and being pissed off at me. So i figured some good time apart would do the trick and it did. Until i looked at his facebook page and came across a friend that had her profile picture that included her and my DH. so i played a came and tried to find out who she was. didnt get an answer from DH he gets mad and says i dont trust him and i am guilty because i almost cheated on him in '07. so thats why i dont come out and straight ask him. well anyways the worst part got to me and i send her an email saying that he is cute and to bad he is married with three kids. but she didnt know it was me because i have never met her. Well then later on today i get a text from dh "what are you doing" why are you sending people hate mail?" i told him i asked you who she was and i thought that she should know that the guy she took a picture with is married. he told me if i wanted to find out who she was i shouldve asked her. so i did, i got no answer. i dunno who this girl is when she met him what they are doing and it is tearing me apart. i thought we were doing so good and i am suppose to go back home tomorrow. i just dont get it. if i asked and she wasnt such a big deal why cant i know her. i mean it just doesnt make any sense to me. maybe once he calms down he will tell me. i rather know he is cheating now then when i get home and find out and have nowhere to go.

[LadyGuapo]

Sep. 14, 2009 at 8:35 PM

I hear ya girlfriend!  You do have a right to know whom this girl is!  If he really wants things to get back to normal, then he wouldn't hide her from you, nor would she be lingering in the shadows.  Take it from me, the best thing for you to do is stay where you are!  If he wants to be with this girl, screw them both, if he wants to be with you, there should be no secrets.  I do think trust is something that should be earned in times like you are going through.  He doesn't automatically get it just because you two where happy.  If he really loves you and wants things to work out, he has to be a grownup.  It sounds to me like there are issues between the both of you that have to be resolved BEFORE anyone moves in anywhere.  But that's just an opinion from a twice married woman.