so.. i should be having a baby any day now.. but im not...

[ToriBabe1221]

i should be due to pop any day now... but i had an early loss in january... i couldnt have been more than 6 weeks.. max...

im having a hard time coming to terms with how i should feel... i want to mourn.. and grieve.. cause i really havent... even though i think about it all the time... but.. i feel like my loss is so insignificant compared to the loss of others.

i didnt even make it to the dr to confirm... i just had several positive tests, including a digital.... i never got the ultrasound or a for sure due date... kinda makes it seem like it wasnt even real..

i was really hoping to be pregnant again before now... but im not...

really makes all the confused emotions just that much more confused... makes me think of my loss more cause i dont have a new pregnancy to focus on...

i guess this is a vent? i hate feeling so confused about this.. and i hate really talking to others about it cause like i said... i feel like my loss is like nothing compared to women who have lost thier babies farther along...

i guess you could say i have "come to terms" with the fact that what would have been my 2nd child is watching over me.. i KNOW that i was pregnant and that it was mine and my husbands creation inside of my body... i know how much i wanted that baby... i wish i could just let go and move on.. but its so hard :(

[MSugarKane]

Sep. 15, 2009 at 3:26 PM

It is hard and do let yourself grieve. You will never forget the baby you lost. I know I don't forget the one I lost at 16 weeks.  But I did have two more children after that miss.  I had two prior but still, it is a loss, and you do need to grieve it out of your system.   Let a balloon go in the sky in honor of the angel in heaven.  It helped me .

[LaurenMarie2307]

Sep. 15, 2009 at 3:38 PM

I know exactly how you feel, today would have been my due date, so i would have had my baby last week (it would have been another scheduled c-section)  I was 7 weeks approx.  I had gotten the ultrasound the day before I lost my baby....That image haunts me to this day..... :( *Hugs* We will make it thru :)

[ToriBabe1221]

Sep. 15, 2009 at 3:42 PM

i did a due date calculator based on when i *think* i concieved... i would have been due in 4 days :(

i really like the balloon idea... i feel like a weight is really weighing me down.. and i think that might be the perfect way to let go of some of it... i was also thinking of buying a little figurine or something.. to keep around the house... like a baby wrapped in angel wings? i dunno though..

 

*hugs* to you lauren (i assume thats your name?)

(Original Poster)