yes, let's talk about control

[autiemommy2]

DH and I have been fighting a lot lately - nothing new for us really, but it's starting to grate my nerves b/c it's the same fight with no solution.

The situation is that we need over $1000 for our son's dental work. Insurance is paying about half, so we have to come up with the other half - and we were given 25 days. We sold some of our stuff, but not nearly enough to cover what we have to pay. And we didn't want to ask our parents - for specific reasons.

Anyway, last week when I was talking to my mom about it, she offered to pay whatever we couldn't come up with. I did not ask her - she offered. All she asked is that we pay her back, which I think is more than a fair request. DH says he doesn't want to take the money from her b/c she will use it to control us... which I know is not true. All she is asking is that we pay her back.

So yesterday, he asks his dad for the money. His dad tells him that he will give us the money if DH will apologize to his mom for a fight they got in to 2 weeks ago... I heard the fight, and I honestly think they should both apologize, but that's not my call. So DH calls his mom and apologizes. (BTW, he never apologizes to me - ever.) So, his dad calls him later and tells him he will send us the money in a few days.

What pisses me off is that DH doesn't see that his parents are using the money to control him! It is control when we don't get the money until DH apologizes!!! And DH didn't even bat an eye when he was told to apologize! He and his mom were both wrong and his mom doesn't have to apologize - which is bullshit b/c she enver has to apologize for anything ever! It irritates me that it's okay that his family can use money as control, but mine cannot - which they don't.

In the past, when we have borrowed money, they have only asked when we can pay them back - not hold it over our heads, even after it's been a 8 months since we paid them off! It's complete bullshit and I'm pissed that DH doesn't see how his family is still controling him!!

So, yes, let's talk about control.... my DH is a jackass - and not for this reason only. He wouldn't accept a donation from one of my distant family members b/c he doesn't like her. I personally don't like her either, but I don't care where the money comes from b/c our son needs this surgery!! At least the money my family was willing to give us didn't come with strings, but DH doesn't see that his dad is still his puppet master. Jackass.