How do I help?

[PawBecca]

Life can be so hard sometimes... But we find ways to get thru it... But how do u get thru the heart ache of watching ur children hurt... I mean most of u know that my husband is deployed... An my heart aches so much so I cant even imagine wat our children feel... I know its got to be hard on them.. They are starting to act out so much.. I dont even know wat to do... I mean they are getting in trouble so much at school.. They are fighting, not listening to there teachers, just plain out not following ne rules.. I know that so much of this is cuz there daddy isnt able to be here... I dont know how to help them... I do everything in my power to make them happy an have a good life.. I try to stay involved with them as much as possible.. I praise them when they do well.. I do things with them.. I know its not the same as daddy doing it, but I am only mommy... I cry as I think about my babies hurting.. They are so young.. How do they deal with it? How do I help them? How do  show them that its ok to hurt, its ok to cry, its ok to be angry, but we still have to behave an do well in school.. How do I show them that acting out like this at school is not the way to handle there emotions? So many questions but yet I feel like I have so few answers... I dont even know how to answer my questions... In the last couple of yrs he has been gone so much an I know that the kids are having a hard time with it.. When my hubby join the Army our ds was so excited... But now sometimes he wishes his daddy never joined... I dont want him to feel like this.. I want him to be proud of his daddy not angry.. He has so much anger locked up inside of him he doesnt know how to handle it.. He lashes out.. And when I say lashes I mean physically lashes out.. Its like the only emotion he lets out ne more is anger... I remind him everyday that we love him an we are proud of him... Our dd, poor baby... She wakes up crying for daddy.. She even cries in her sleep... How do I help our children? How to I help them with the pain they feel? I DONT KNOW.. I am lost...

[aklebeyers]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 7:11 PM

Have you tried finding a special place on the wall to hang a picture of daddy and make a special chart for the kids when they do good at school or home.  You can call it "Daddy's wall of honor" or something.  Leave it up so when Daddy comes home he can see all the good things the kids accomplished.  Start a ritual of somekind that involves remembering Daddy everyweek.  Keep the positive energy going!