I thought I was a mom to 1 child, not 2!!?

[chela17]

It's kinda pissing me off that he is not trying.

We have been going to marriage counseling for about 2 1/2 months now and things have gotten in some apects better, but in others he continues to be the fucken man that he is. I don't see how some men feel that going to work, not cheating on their wife, and "being" home is enough to make a marriage work. (And by "being" home I mean just physically there NOT emotionally)

This past week at the counseling session, he pretty much said that he felt he is doing a great job and I spoke up and let him know how I felt. We had spent 4 weeks without going because the therapist was on vacation and I felt that it would have been a great time to really show each other how much this has been working for us. I was wrong. The first week was ok, I really didn't feel like anything was bothering me, but by the middle of the 2nd week I so wanted to pull my hair out. I was just so pissed off at the fact that he started doing nothing at home. I mean nothing. He wouldn't even talk to me at the dinner table. Instead, he would just turn the TV and keep his eyes glued to it. Oh how I hate the TV now! I fucken hate it. If I had the chance, I would somehow mess with the wiring so that it can no longer be turned on!

Anyway, I let him know how I hated his job now, not because he is away or how he has shitty hours, but because he puts so much energy into it that when he gets home he doesn't want to be spoken to, doesn't want to help with the baby (his idea of taking care of her is letting all the toys out and having her play while he sits in front of the TV), and doesn't even want to have sex. Sure, I mean all of you can tell me how he is tired from working and whatnot, but I work too. I have told him a million times that I know my job is not as physically tiring as his, but I have to deal with planning, keeping inventory, pushing orders out, and bosses that need questions answered as soon as they say one word and sometimes the importing world is a bitch! All that plus I get home to an almost 2yr old who doesn't nap anymore and has become a picky eater, have to do laundry, have to cook, have to do exercise because he wants to see me take care of myself, and somehow make him feel loved! I let him know that sometimes I feel like I am talking to a wall and I am exhausted! I asked him to be true to his feelings and if he knows that he doesn't want to be here then he needs to be true to his feelings and listen to them because all of this is just unecessary if he is not going to put any effort into it. I swear I'd rather be by myself than to be with someone who is really not going to FULLY commit. I know it's hard, but I want him to fully commit as to share his feelings even if he is annoyed or pissed off...Damn I just want some kind of acknowledgment that I am not being used because I am definitely not playing HIS MOM'S role when he is now a father himself.

He pretty much felt shocked/attacked/offended, I guess, because he was trying to bring up instances to make it go on his side. Oh, and I LOVED how he lied when she asked him what kind of activities he does with the baby during the week and his response was that he takes her a bath a couple of nights out of the week! I cannot believe he did that! He hasn't done that since she was about 3 months old!

Now, I am calling him out on everything that is bothering me becasuse I don't want to explode like how I did there. I am not doing it in a nagging way, just mentioning things. It kinda pissed me off to yesterday when I had mentioned I wanted to go see that Michael Jackson movie coming out in October and how the tickets were going to be limited since the movie was only showing for 2 weeks, and he was like just buy the tickets and we will go. He got so annoyed with my 2 sentences that I told him, "It's sad that you don't even let me be a girl and kind of cry about something especially knowing that we will not go in the end. You are lucky that I am not like other girl's who bitch and moan about everything and anything they want or don't get. It's fucken ridiculous how you don't know how to treat a girl that does everything for you and you don't even give her the chance to kinda whine about something when this is the first time I ever do it just because I'm trying to talk to you." I'm just over it. I really am not going to try anymore and maybe then he will get a damn clue in that senseless brain of his.

Now that I think of it, I find it ridiculous as how he came up with an excuse as to why he doesn't talk to me..."MY ENERGY IS NEGATIVE." Well duh it is because you frustrate me up the ying yang and don't have a clue!

 

[Acid]

Sep. 17, 2009 at 2:02 PM If he was like this before, then why did you marry him? Men aren't prewired to act like assholes. If you aren't happy, pack up and leave, its that easy.

[bamamom2212]

Sep. 17, 2009 at 2:31 PM

 look if your unhappy and he seems not to care then yall should just go your own ways . you should not bring a child up in a unhappy home because trust me she will know it and be unhappy and think that thats what she has to put up with and that all men are like her dad. He may wind up being a better dad being away from you. never know being apart for awhile may wake him up . if coucling is not working and he does not seem to be working for a better marriage try seperating for six months and see if your both happier that way and maybe divorce is better than being unhappy.