Intimacy = Into me see

[singedwingangel]

If you are married you know first hand the importance of intimacy within the marriage. As kids come along and life gets in the way we often lose the closeness of each other. Often we spend the better part of our alone time in the bedroom preparing for the next day's to do list. Have you ever noticed how easily we get drawn apart and we often feel that even though we are married we are alone in the relationship. Each person having their own plans and dreams for what they want out of life and goals to be reached. I think there is absolutely nothing sadder then feeling alone in a house full of people, who claim to be loving family members. Many times it may be one spouse works while one maintains the house each feeling as if the other is not aware of exactly what we go through on a daily basis.
I entered into marriage with the misunderstanding that intimacy was sexually related, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Intimacy goes much deeper then the depths of sexual satisfaction. In the book Song of Solomon we find the love story of the Shulamite woman and Solomon. Though she was of a lower lineage then Solomon he was drawn to her desire to know him for who he was outside of the throne. They wooed each other. Though throughout the book we sense the tremblings of sexual desire in each of them we see more references to the mind's vision of their lover. She saw the beauty of his heart, the wisdom he contained, the strength that trembled just beneath the surface of his demeanor and dress. Though clothed in the rainment of a king, she saw the scared man that lay beneath the surface. She gave him a safe place to land. Within the comfort of her presence Solomon did not have to put up any pretense or show, he could simply be Solomon. Though we know he had over 800 wives and concubines, this woman so caught his attention that he wrote an entire book about their love and intimacy with one another.
The Shulamite woman viewed her own body, how she looked through her own eyes. She knew her place, especially when the thought of becoming Solomon's bride came to mind.. we hear her telling of how dark she is from working in the fields. How compared to the women he has been with she is the least of them all.When we see her self description in comparison with Solomon's description of her we are almost led to think that they are discussing 2 different women. But his description of her is a wonderful vision of what we fail to see in ourselves. She saw black kinky hair and fingers that were worked to a frazzle. But he calls her beautiful, beloved, describes her eyes, nose, lip and basically her entire being satisfied Solomon. He saw the beauty of her spirit, not just her outside, but her heart.
Likewise, when Solomon speaks he realizes the importance of being him, but he himself cannot fully appreciate the depth of his wisdom and her words bring into focus what others fail to notice. While she also speaks of his masculinity she also speaks of his spirit. What she sees beyond the flesh. they both embrace the intimacy of knowing the other, calling out the positives in the other.
The entire book of Song of Solomon is a wonderful teacher concerning intimacy in real life with our mates as well as the intimacy God desires us to seek with him. We will find if we devote our time to being this intimate with God, that he alone will bring the person into our lives that desires to see beyond the physical appearance and into the heart of us, as he does. If we want to regain the intimacy of our earthly relationships we must first master the intricacies of super natural intimacy with God the Father. If we cannot be transparent with God who can we trust.
The danger of lacking intimate abilities is we often falsely think that the other person should "know" how we feel, what we need. We also wrongly assume that we can gain true intimacy without full transparency. Both dangerous thought processes. If you cannot trust God with the most intimate parts of your soul and mind, how can you expect to trust another person??
I know we often think well God knows, he doesn't need me to tell him. Which is true, but he DESIRES us to tell him. He longs for us to be open andhonest with even the parts we are ashamed of. True intimacy can never be achieved without trust. Opening even the rawest of wounds to another can be quite liberating. Especially if we have allowed God to work on them first. It is not about him knowing us it is about us knowing him. Knowing that yes he knows all, but his heart is not to point a finger but hold us close as we cry into the arms of our heavenly father. To repent with a pure heart for shortcomings, lay open the wounds that try and keep us bound in the past, and giving away our ability to "fix it" to the only one who truly can.
Secrets are not a good thing, they have a way of coming up and biting us when we least expect it. It is in admitting our shortcomings and fears that we can find true intimacy with another. That doesn't mean lay it all out there all at once. But having the wisdom to know the people you can trust to do that with. We don't go into a relationship laying all of our faults on the table the first night. We put our best foot forward and slowly work to the ability to reveal a little more of our true selves to our mate. But in reaching true intimacy we have to dig out the things we have buried for so long. We learn that true love and acceptance only comes when we have opened all doors and exposed ourselves to one who has the ability to reject us in our most fragile moment. But we also learn through developing intimacy with God that love covers all. And the one who truly loves us will accept us as we are, in that moment of transparency and love us anyway....just as God does..