Nothing, Even When It Is, Is Simple

[Gaelina]

If there is one thing I have learned in my life it’s that I will survive.
No matter the pain and the suffering, the mistakes, the bad judgment calls, the betrayals, or how many times I’m lied too and left behind. No matter how many times I find myself laying on the floor with nothing left but the tiny little existence that is me defenseless and helpless before the onslaught of this selfish greedy and vile world we call ‘life’ I know I will survive. I know that while at that moment I have nothing and all the world could be standing before me and be ready to stomp down on me and snuff out my miserable worthless existence… it can’t. It wants me to believe it can. It wants me to feel desolate enough to give it the power to destroy me. But I know what it knows. I can do nothing to defend myself against its ravaging of me. I am, indeed, helpless whether I lay there with its foot hovering above me or whether I stand at the top of the world with all its power behind me. Regardless it is more powerful than I and could easily eradicate me.

Accept for one thing.

Love is on my side.

I don’t mean love as the world knows it. This world knows love as a thing of consequence. Of acquisition and earning. You love because you get something from it. It turns love into a business deal. That’s not love. That’s payment.

No, love is sacrifice. The less you expect and the more you give for the sake of giving the stronger you become. But it’s not your strength. Yours to use, aye, and a power beyond everything in our known reality combined. Gentle enough to allow you to use it and strong enough to be whatever you need against the might of all that would destroy you. No matter how much love you give away and you never run out of more to give.

Love.

God.

I know this truth and it has saved me in more ways than I could ever tell you.

I wish that I could make you see it too. But that’s one of the beauties of love. It’s your choice. Which, again, is why it’s not mine for I am imperfect. It is not.

I love you. But only because it gives me the strength to do so.