My husband on Survivor?!

[fiveallmineblog]

      

I want my husband to send a tape to try out for survivor.  No, not because I'm hoping to collect some insurance money if something ill befalls him, but because I think he would win!  In fact, I am certain of it!

He is the perfect candidate.  Healthy, though stressed.  So the stress would go away while he climbed mountains in Peru, chopped firewood in Africa or strategized with bikini clad women in South America or wherever it may be.   He is incredibly strong and equally as nice.  And while he is not a strong swimmer, I believe that if 1 million dollars rested on his ability to swim across a channel being chased by piranha or wrestling an alligator, I'm quite certain he could do it, and faster than anyone else too!  

My hubby is kind, funny and has integrity.  He is a mediator by profession so could easily work with the other players and earn votes to stay there.  He does not gossip EVER, and gets along well with everyone. 

Importantly, he has enough extra weight on his body to sustain him through the month he would be away, and by the end of it he should be looking like he did when he was 20, only with a lot more money, and facial hair.

Food wise, he is not picky, and if he is hungry enough, I'm sure mouldy rice or maggots or bull testicles would go down just fine.  His favourite saying is ‘mind over matter!' after all! 

I know that if he read this that he would probably stop at the part about bikini clad women and he would be almost ready to fill out an application for next season.  He likely never thought about the scantily clad women on the beach before, because he's been too fixated on his lack of swimming ability, but now that his wonderful wife has pointed them out to him, he'll be much more motivated!  Damn, men are so easy to manipulate!