I yelled at him, but told him to go do it anyways...

[Lanie_momofone]

 Ok a while ago me and my SO of 6 yrs, went to his friends house (a female he has known for years..way before me and him got together) lets call her Kay, now before i start this, let me explain. He doesnt go over to her house AT ALL, he hardly ever talks to her either. But has known her forever , and is close to her daughter because he watched her grow up.

So..in the beginning of summer, he went to a school grad (for another friends neice) and bumped into Kays daughter, she was graduating. Kay invited my SO over to her house to join the party that she was having, he took me with him. However once he started drinking and what not, i noticed that his eyes would go from her face to her chest, i didnt say anything about it ..but gave him the "you are pissing me off look", and i guess he got the hint , because he stopped. Now, she does have ...large breasts and she was wearing a revealing dress..so i mean, it WAS right infront of him, but i didnt like how often the glances to her chest area were happening. Now dont get me wrong, i like Kay she is an awesome woman, heck she even told him to make sure to keep me around cause i was really good for him. I just found that his glances while i was right there were rude and disrespectful towards me.

So...in the middle of last week, my SO tells me..."oh Kay needs my help to move her on saturday"..and that was that. It bothered me for days!, and finally on thursday night i asked him "are you attracted to kay?" he very seriously looked at me and said "no babe im not, why are you asking me that?"

So i brang up the night we were there and how he kept glancing at her chest, i told him then that i didnt like it and that i found it very disrespectful to me , and that i have nothing against her but find it hard to trust him when he does crap like that. I told him, that i didnt want him to go and help her , also seeing as though me, him and our dd havent gotten to spend a whole lot of family time together (we have plans to go out tomorrow to a bbq with his family). He said that he wouldnt go if i didnt want him to.

So...what do i do? I tell him that he can go! ..damn my mind is confusing the heck out of me, i mean..i know i can trust him, but those glances are eating away at me.

I keep saying in my head, that if he didnt do anything with her back then..then he isnt going to do anything now, and we have been together for 6 years and he has been faithful..

 

Why as woman do we confuse the heck out of things?

 

 

[sati769leigh]

Sep. 19, 2009 at 9:26 AM

why dont you trust your man? seriously. men cannot help LOOKING. just cause he is with you does not make him DEAD. honestly you are creating friction where there doesnt sound like there needs to be. You said it yourself, together 6 years and always faithful. honey, dont drive him away emotionaly. let this go. men are gonna LOOK when it is right in thier face. NOTHING wrong with LOOKING. My husband of 8 years has LOOKED many times, including when we are out together. it is just LOOKING. nothing at all wrong with that and nothing worth jeapordizing our relationship over either. Let a man be a MAN. he is with you, be secure in yourself hon.

[Lanie_momofone]

Sep. 19, 2009 at 11:48 AM

Oh i can take the casual glance, but when i am on the front porch and he is on the sidewalk, and not even LOOKING at me? but constantly looking at her and glancing from her face to her breasts...that bothers me. Glancing and constant looking , is two different things to me.

And i did let it go, he wasnt going to go..but i told him to go and help her move anyways.

He can be a man, and still respect me.

I dont go staring at mens private areas, so i expect him to show me the same curtesy.

(Original Poster)

[MSugarKane]

Sep. 19, 2009 at 1:26 PM

There is an old saying, "When they stop looking is when to worry!"  Food for Thought.

[PLATINUM_BEAUTY]

Nov. 19, 2009 at 8:02 PM

Awww!  That sucks.  Especially since you've dated SOOOO long!