Do I Stay or do I go????

[kim8901]

I got out of a bad relationship a while back ago... It left me not knowing if I would be able to trust another man ever.. Well a year ago this wonderful man came into my life and showed me what true love was all about and what trusting someone felt like again. He was wonderful with my son.. I recently had a baby with this man.. and he is a great father and shows me how much he loves me every single day. But,,,,, I just found out his deepest darkest secret and I'm so confused. Here it goes.. When he was younger he was molested.. When he was 17 he started to molest a 3 yr old girl. He rubbed a tampon around her vaginal area. When he realized what he was doing he immidately stopped. He didn't want to put her through what he had been through. He went home and told his father, his father brought him to the police station and he confessed. He was sentenced to 5 yrs in prison but only did 2 years. I found out by accident. When I confronted him about it, he balled so hard he couldn't talk.. He said he didn't know why he did it.. he thought it may have been cuz he was a victim of it. He cried so hard and said he was so sorry about it.. he received therapy for it.. He is now 37 and has not ever done it again. He said he was a stupid kid that made a horrible mistake.. He has lost so much because of this mistake. He didn't want to tell me cuz he was afraid I would leave him. I have an 8 yr old son, and a 3 month old little girl.. What do I do? I love this man soooo much.. I believe him when he says he has never did it again and he never will. I was sick to my stomache when I found out. My first instinct was to get him away from my children.  I've trusted him for a year now.. we are engaged.. We are so happy together..but this is all that is on my mind. I told him I would stay and work through this, but I would need therapy to learn how to deal with it. And I suggested he went to therapy too.. just to make sure he never does this again. Am I a bad mom for staying?? Of course I am leery of the fact now, and it will always be in the back of my mind.. but what would you do??? If you loved this man so much could you see him through this??? or would you walk away??? people can change, and people do make mistakes..

[AngelDawn7]

Sep. 21, 2009 at 1:21 PM

It sounds like he made a real mistake and has paid for it. I definately believe that you should go to a therapist with him. Until the therapist says everything is ok, I would never allow him access to your children unsupervised. I would also make sure you go to the therapist and work this out before you get married.