Taking Courtney to Day Care :-(

[CrystalJanie]

I'm not going to get into specifics but I have to go to a womens group 4 days a week for 5 weeks.  And with ALL the people in our lives, NO ONE is available to watch our 3 month old while I do this program.  My sister in law (who is also a sahm) said she'd watch her now suddenly is too busy (I'm not happy with her...I think it was a shitty thing to do).  Believe me, if I could do this in the afternoon after Tim gets off work, I would...but it's not an option.

My boyfriends mom can watch her on mondays but can't the other three days in the week.  So I was referred to a home day care that the state will pay for me.  Once I found out her name and where she lived, I realized that it was my ex boyfriends cousin!  I was happy it was someone I knew but I'm still not thrilled with the situation.  I assume the way I'm feeling is similar to the same feeling moms go through when their children start school.  I just hate knowing the attention won't be on her 100% of the time...and it breaks my heart because even though I know the women running it, Courtney does not (me and this womens cousin broke up almost three years ago).  I feel like she's going to be scared..."Where's my mom??"  or "Where's my dad???".  

I'm just sad for my daughter.  I wish I didn't have to do this but I'm in a position where I have to to better our situation.  I just wish I could feel better about this!!!