i wonder....

[mamiicasie09]

Today was just one of those days where i sat back and realized that i have no idea what i want to happen in life. Mainly where me and my fiance are concerned. I feel like i want him to leave me alone and just let me be, but then when i think about it an hour from now its like i love him to death and dont want to be without him. but you cant have a relationship with no trust and where he is concerd i dont trust him at all. he has cheated on me with his exs and talked dirty with girls on his myspace and emails, and when i find it he lies and denies he ever did it and if he really thought id find it then why would he keep it, but hes dumb as hell because none of his exs caught him cheating and lying but i always do because i know how guys like him are and the games they play. i catch him in everything. and now that hes in utah for job corp and im still in colorado...idk i just always feel like hes cheating and lying about what he is doing. its not even just cheating its the fact that when he was suppose to be looking for a job one time i found him at his lil brothers house doing coke and thats always a fear to that hell start doing drugs again. im at a loss and dont know wheather to walk away for the sake of my daughter and my sanity or to stick it out and believe that he is trying to change and be a better person. i just dont know what to do anymore.

[mamakristena210]

Sep. 26, 2009 at 7:20 PM

i can relate. My husband has never physically cheated on me at least that i have found never really had chance to go do something. but he has text and talked to girls on myspace ways should not. but with him bein in boot camp now. i think its opened our eyes to how much we love and need each other. especially cuz we can only write and have talked once for 20 min. it very very hard. but it all depends on how u really feel. i feel after this that i can trust my husband. but every situation is diff