I Have a Problem

[eema.gray]

I'm always a little afraid to admit this, even to myself, because the conventional wisdom of preparing for natural childbirth is to read natural birth stories and watch similar videos.

I have a problem with that.

Birthing is incredibly vulnerable and intimate, especially when your head and body are fully involved in the process.  I can't read other people's stories.  I can't look at their pictures.  I can't watch their videos.  It feels like peeking into another couple's bedroom during an intimate moment that's nobody else's business.  Not just home births or births in independent birthing centers but the natural hospital births as well.  The stories/pictures/videos are just too intimate and revealing.  Seeing how couples interact during birth feels a lot like watching them have sex and that's just not something I'm comfortable with.

So while I read/have read a large number of books about natural birth, while I participate daily in a group here for natural birth and pregnancy, I always skip over the birth stories.  It's not that I don't care (in the case of the cafemom group) because I do care about these women who are at least aquaintences by now.  I care that they are safe, that they are emotionally well, that they have healthy growing babies.  But I cannot bring myself to peer into their birthing times, especially when they also post pictures of that time.  It's not that I'm not interested.  It's just more than I'm comfortable knowing about relationships.

[divinity80921]

Sep. 22, 2009 at 11:26 PM

It just always made me feel woozy. And honestly, after two completely drug-free, natural births, I'd argue about any real point in seeing more than one or two childbirth videos.

You've already given birth once. You know what to expect, as much as you can know with each birth being unique. Skip the pictures.

The only thing I share about my first labor is that I got tired of my husband "coaching" me and I told him through clenched teeth, "YOU did this to me!!"

[divinity80921]

Sep. 22, 2009 at 11:27 PM

I'm a witch.

[eema.gray]

Sep. 22, 2009 at 11:39 PM

*I* don't need the stuff at this point, lol.  It's just that every time I see a post from a woman saying she wants to try for a natural birth, one of the first pieces of advice she gets is to read these stores, watch these videos.  1) I don't see the point since every birth is different.  2) When I try to support friends by reading their stories and leaving notes, it feels like I'm pushing my way into something I have no business knowing about.

But since the internet has pretty much erased all the personal boundaries people have, I guess that makes me kind of old fashioned.

(Original Poster)