My day yesterday....

[jillisue808]

Ok so yesterday a rare day were everything just came down on me. I was so stressed out about things that I actually broke down and cried. I called my BIL, who is a minister and unloaded on him, thank God for people in my life that will listen to me when I'm babbling. After work I went home and I cleaned my entire apartment. I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed my bathroom floor. That in itself was a great way to relieve the stress. Then I realized I needed some deoderant, so I went to the dollar store and while I was there I picked up 3 glade candles, to add to my candle collection. When I got home I lit up the candles and my house smelled so fresh and looked so good. Then I got on my exercise bike and rode for about half an hour while watching The Biggest Loser, and it felt great. I know I'm not the first person or the last to go through a divorce, I'm just having a hard time with it right now because next month it will be final. No more marriage, no more husband. I'm ready to start dating again, and with that being said I dread it SO much. I hate the getting to know someone part, because how do you tell the good ones from the bad. I have a bad habit of falling for someone too fast so I'm trying to be very careful. I wish I could just meet someone and know right off the bat if they are worth spending my time with. I still want a family, I still want children (I have a stepdaughter I raised who still comes and stays with me). I don't feel I'm too old, I guess I'm just wondering when things will fall into place for me again. I'm so thankful that my soon to be ex husband and I can continue being very good friends, I know I could call him up right now and if I needed anything he would be there for me. Anyway I know this is kind of a ramble, I just thought about getting it all off my chest. Thanks for reading!

[sunflowerfreak]

Sep. 23, 2009 at 11:23 AM

Just know it will get better.  There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.  And just know you will be a stronger person after it all.  If you get a chance or have the chance to work on yourself I suggest you do it b/c when the next guy comes along you will know what you want in a guy.  Take time out for yourself (if your able to) treat yourself to you time, spend time with people you haven't spent with in a long time.  Get yourself to being happy again and get where you love yourself and your comfortable in your own skin.  Get your self confidence up again.  It might take some time (that's okay) but take time out for yourself.  You'll be happy you did it.