My LIFE!!

[Ari0825]

For all who want to know, my life is an open book. At 2 years of age, I lost my mom due to her having brain cancer, and an aneurysm busted in her head. Then at the age of 3, I lost my dad due to the fact of him having MS (multiple sclerosis) & the pain from my mom dying, he overdosed on his pain medication. Left me and my a year younger brother. Whom our dads mom (my grandma) adopted and raised us. At 15, I started working at a local fruit market in our city. I met this guy, Cesar. We got together and started dating. At 17, a senior in high school, I found out I was pregnant with my first DD, Arianna. I graduated 8 months pregnant. Having her was the happiest day of my life. I always had plans to go to college to become a nurse, as its what I have ALWAYS wanted to do. My boyfriend & I lived in the basement of my parents house, until my first DD was 3 months old. At the age of 18, we got married. Mind you he's two years older than me.We then bought a trailor and lived there until she was one years old. We found a house and began to rent it, things were going great. In October of 2008, we were having problems, he came home drunk and I had my DD in my arms, he grabbed her violently from me and sat her in her crib. *She was 14 months at the time*  He than began to beat me, he bruised quite a few ribs, and actually fracturated one of my ribs and busted my ear open. It was the worst experience of my life, I called my mom sobbing, she called the cops, he spent the night in jail and was placed on probation for a year, with random drug/alcohol screenings. & ordered to attend domestic violence & anger management classes. Thats the night, I found out I was pregnant with my second DD. *b/c i was taken to the hosptial to make sure nothing was bleeding on the inside, b/c i was bruised up & in severe abdominal pain.  Thank God, that nothing happened to my DD, as I was only 4 weeks pregnant at the time. I placed a PPO (personal protection order) so that he would not be able to come back to the house. We spent 5 months seperated, after he attended his classes, he was allowed to come see his DD. We eventually ended up back together. He learned alot from that night, and learned to NEVER hit me again. B/c I would glady call the cops again. I slipped into a serious depression in March of this year, I began to get suicidal thoughts, I went to my Ob, to see if he could prescribe me some antidepressants. He suggested that I admit myself into a pysch ward, and if I didn't go voluntarally, I would be there longer, and risked losing my children, I could not bear that, so my mom (grandma, i call her mom) took time off of work, to care for my oldest DD, as I was about 5 months preggo with my secound DD, I spent a week in that ward. At the beginning I HATED it, I missed my family, I missed my daughter, I cried myself to sleep every night. I only got to call them twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. My mom wouldn't let me talk to my daughter b/c she and I were/still am VERy close, adn she would freak out if I spoke to her, she'd cry. That broke my heart. I had art therapy everyday and I always colored her a picture daily and made her several necklaces and bracelets. I was admitted Monday early in the morning, there was visitation on Wednesdays from 5-7pm. My grandparents and my husband came up to see me, I HATED THEM. I wanted to go home with them, and I couldn't. I couldn't stand it, I didn't even say good bye to them, it hurt so bad. As the week went on I still called home, and apologized for not saying goodbye but it hurt that I couldnt go home and see them and my DD. Also, as the week went on, even though I missed everyone I began to learn ALOT about myself. It was probably the best week I could have ever had, not that I EVER want to spend another week in a pysch ward, but I learned alot. I finally got to go home on Friday, my mom and DD came up to pick me up, they couldn't come in , b/c no one under 14 was allowed in the ward. My DD was only 1. She was mad at me at first, than she came running to me, and hugged me so tight, I started to cry, It was the best moment ever! I am now on anti depressants and go to therapy twice a week. It has helped alot. From that moment on, I moved back home, I needed the support as my DH worked 60+ hours a week. My husband and I were still having problems, then we had our second DD in July. Again, best moment of my life. My DH and I got stronger b/c of our children. We owed it to them.  We still live at home. We just bought a beautiful 5 bdrm, 2 bath home and are moving in 3 weeks. I can't wait. Now despite everything i have been through, everythign is finally perfect, we are happier than ever, and my kids are amazing, and we recently found out we are expecting baby #3. I am currently attending school to become a Medical Assistant. I graduate april 11. This wasn't written for me to be judged by anyone, more of like venting just writing it down.

[WindyTheWidow]

Sep. 23, 2009 at 9:05 PM

You have been through a lot in your life and I'm glad you preservered and have come out on top. God does allow happy endings, especially to those who've suffered a lot and still put their trust in them. Thank you for allowing your pain to be an open book. You never know, this post could've just helped someone in need tremendously