Journey back to ME day 5.. Not to shabby.

[Dannille33]

It's been a bright sunny day till just recently and the clouds rolled. This is alot like my day. 

Although today I fought but not as hard is strived to have a good day. As my 4 yr old so far this was the "Best day ever" that is if you have had rough ones before. As we all know there are rough patches in lifes road we just have to focus on those that aren't so rough.

Today as I promised myself, I did indeed take the full 1/2 pill as prescribed. I was nervous having not taken a dose last night. I know I know I should have but there was so much going on that I was exchusted and it was just to make it to the bed and fall deep in to welcome slumber.

So onward about my day after talking my med which seemed to really mellow me out. I told my 4 yr old son (whom wasn't able to attend school due to 2 hour delay thanks to fog) that I would take him some where. I have learned not to tell him the destination because I do not want him upset if we for some reason do not make it there. So off we went and nerves were pulling at me just a bit but we made it to town. He seemed way more happier than I was ..

When we got to town I surprised him with the Park (someone had mentioned that it would be good to go there not only for him but me) when we pulled up I was getting a bit nervous then I got out of the car and seen his little face light up as bright as the sun. I admit I was taken away with joy and happiness and seeing him happy made me more proud that I could do this for him. It had been 5 months since I could take him somewhere other than school to home .. if I did I was edgy and made him hurry about.(I am including pictures at the park at the end of the journal. You can see his happiness.

After we were there about 30 mins and I had laughed right along with him we decided out tummies couldn't take it. We had to go get something to eat. I also knew that I need to grab some groceries. This was something I haven't been able to do in along time as well. So killing two birds with one stone we went to the store. He got to pick out something from the deli while I grabs a weeks worth of groceries. I wasn't feeling as nervous by now just a little breathless but I think because I was with a 4 yr old. lol

Anyway we also managed to get some fuel and grab some goodies at the pharmacy then off home we went. That was a great time out with the little guy. It was long deserved on his part. He out of all the kids feels the most confused as to how I have been and why.

Now that was the great part of the day...

After coming home I revcieved a call from my step dad as many of you know my mother just came home a week ago from a knee replacement. Well he was calling to let me know that she was back in the hospital now with pnemonia.. I went from a high to a low in seconds. I then remembered what my doctor had recently said to me "You cannot fix someone else if you haven't fixed YOU yet". Keeping this in mind I calmed down and didn't stress I just prayed and hoped that she was going to be ok. They say it's only in one lung which is great. It's been 4 weeks since I have seen my mother and I know that with a great day like today I can soon see her even if it is just ME.

Then as the night has passed I see that other things are rooting there evil heads and I am dealing with them a certain letter recieved. As I say to myself .. STOP THE WHAT IF's Dannille!!! Cause if there is one thing that seems to eat at me is the future, the what if, the UNKNOWN. I really need to stop thinking about that and taking day by day...

Oh, and we have a Goat.. go figure it decided to break it's pen. So now it's like pipi long stocking around here goats in the yard, dogs, cats, and cows in the pasture.. Oh My...

Well that's my day and evening so far. I am not sure after all the ongoings I would write later or even have enough energy. I hope this is helping others .. also showing then that you can enjoy the good days more and more. Take the bad days as they come, and surround yourself with LOVE, friends, and support. You'll make it.. and trust your doctor meds aren't bad unless you react to them. Or so I have experineced so far...

Have a good night .. and here are a few great pics from the park.

[Lb128f]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 3:57 AM

OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you!! WOW on ALL the things you did today....but, most of all on being a FANTASTIC MOM!!! I CAN see the joy and happiness in your son's face. And, I can just imagine yours in seeing his! GOOD JOB!!!!! And...on top of doing GREAT...you went several other places....I THINK YOU ARE SO COOL!!! I LOVE THAT YOU ARE DOING SO GOOD!! And, I agree....ONE DAY at a time! H

I'm sorry about your Mom...I will be saying a prayer for her!!!

 

ang in there....if you can do the child, food, store, pharmacy, letter, phone call AND the goat...lololol....you are doing okay!!! :-)

[Lb128f]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 3:57 AM

VOTED POP!!

[Stickmom]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 5:09 AM

GOOD JOB!!!

[luvbreezy03]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 5:19 AM

Thanks for sharing this. I think it will help others.

[monkeyberry]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 11:36 AM

Look at your happy little man! Good for both of you!

[jajamama]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 12:59 PM

wow those are some huge first steps good job a park is big thats awsome and good job talking yourself back to calm afterr hearing about your mom you are making progress =)

[5pmsomewhere]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 1:00 PM

Good for you. I hope you have another good day.

[yepIdo]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 1:08 PM

[starrsun]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 1:37 PM

I don't know you;just happened to come across your journal post....sounds like you had a GREAT day with your lil man!!! And obviously,HE HAD A GREAT DAY WITH HIS MOM!!!

AWESOME!!!! And thanks for making this public.I think it WILL help lots of other moms in similar situations! THANK YOU!! FOR SHARING YOUR DAY!!!

[nana77500]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 1:53 PM

i think i have the same thing as you.ya you welcome the nights to go to sleep.you get sad to wake up knowing its another day.you want to stay in the house and not go out.you dont like people to much these days.you feel as if God a=has dealt you a wrotten blow these days.you wonder why you cant get out of this..nothing woks and still we trudge on.....send me a message if you want to talk...