mom2queenie2004's Journal

Just somethings that fall out of my head

Ok I tried this back in July and life got in the way and I stopped taking time for me and giving myself the time to refect and work on me. So here I am yet again. Things should be settling down, the little boy I babysit will only be here for another week. One stress gone. Back to just me and the girls. That means no karate because no money for karate.....that makes me sad. Jessica loves it so much and Rebecca was looking forward to it when she turned 4. We just won't have the money when I am not sitting anymore. We will be able to do so much more though. So many things to do during the day, the park, library, zoo etc....all of these things will get me out of the house, away from all the food.

In doing all these things OUT, I realize I am then in battle with fast food. Sonic Bacon Cheese Burgers or McDonalds French Fries. They are a little easier to avoid than the food sitting in my kitchen just a room away. They, however, are still a big draw. We have been talking nutrition with Jessica and she actually mentions how much fat is in those things...that will help as a good reminder, as if I really needed one.

Starting next month I am starting to see a psycologist about why I do what I do. I think it is going to do me good, but it is going to be hard. There are alot of things I am sure I am burrying deep down. They are burried for a reason and I am not so sure I want to bring them up. There has to be a reason that I do something constantly knowing what I am doing is not good for me and do it anyway. Knowing I should just not buy it, or throw it away if I did buy it and open and eat it anyway. Why do I do that?

I do think I need to stop shopping once a month. All that food, the good, the bad and the ugly, but it is all there, yum! A whole months worth of food just sitting there, waiting. Right now that is not something that I can handle. If it is there I will eat it.  For now, that temptations needs to be removed.

So there. Step one was to get an appointment with a DR. Check! Step two..I decided to stop shopping once a month. Check! So what shall I make next? Moving. Today I will move. I will go outside and move. I will take my inhaler, go have some fun with the kids and move. That is totally doable. Now, no excuses!


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Sep. 24, 2009 at 10:34 AM

Wishing you good luck!  I was going to see a psychologist about some of the things I do as well -- not allowing myself to do things if everyone doesn't come with etc... something from my mom who never let me go anywhere without her even as an adult (when I lived there)... I did see him once and even he was confused why someone would have the reactions I have.  I hope you have good luck with your issues and YAY for you getting out and moving and doing your inhaler!

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