THIS CHILD WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.

[caitxrawks]

Joss has been an absolute terror today. I finally just got her put down for her third nap today after:

1) wrestling her out of her clothes
2) wrestling her out of her diaper
3) wrestling her into a new diaper
4) wrestling her into her high chair
5) wrestling the spoon out of her tiny little grubby hands
6) wrestling the baby food into her mouth because even though she was terribly hungry, she was

S

C

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the entire time.

Wailing.

Absolutely crying fucking wolf.

Screaming bloody murder.

How else do you want me to put it?

I have no idea where it came from. She was sitting on the rug, happy as a clam, talking into her plastic watering can like she always does. All of a sudden, she started screaming and whining all over the place. I was like "WTF?" so I put her in the high chair. It's her lunchtime anyway, so I tore up some pieces of tortilla and green beans (YUM?) and put it on the tray. She just stared at it like I was stupid. Like "What the fuck is this, Mom?" She usually gobbles up whatever I give her, even if it's a new food. (Except for plain yogurt. Oh you should've seen the look on her face. D-x< Kind of like that, but only imagine it on a nine month old.

Anyway, we struggled through lunch. She kept wanting to grab the damn spoon, but we're trying to teach her to not grab it. She doesn't want to feed herself, she just wants to play with the spoon. She knocks food EVERYWHERE when she grabs it. She has such a strooooong grip as well, it's like trying to grab a spoon out of an adult's hand. She got pissed at me for that too.

I finally gave up halfway through the jar of sweet potatoes and corn (now with DHA!) and said "Fine. I'm going to make you a bottle and we are going to BED." She looked at me like "What the fuck is this, Mom?" and just started screaming again. I went into the kitchen and made a bottle. I got her out of the high chair and took her into the bedroom.

I laid her on our bed and took her shorts off her. I gave her the bottle, which she promptly drank two sips of and flipped upside down, promptly drizzling herself and the bed with a shower of soy formula and promptly pissing ME off. I sighed, tried to not lose my cool, and took the bottle away.

Protest. Screaming.

I gave the bottle back.

She balked at it and knocked it away. She's learning that she can do that to signal "Done!" About damn time.

I took the bottle away and wrestled her out of her onesie. She'd destroyed it with baby food, there was no way I was going to let her sleep in it. Yuck. I gave her a wipe to play with (she likes feeling the wetness I think, I dunno). I changed her diaper with one hand, holding her on her back with the other. She thinks it's funny to flip over and crawl away as fast as possible. The bed has been peed on more than once because of her cutesy little game.

I finally got a fresh diaper and buttpaste on her. I tried the bottle one more time, she knocked it away and sighed really loud. I sighed back and picked her up. "I'm sorry," I said, even though I knew she wouldn't understand half of my apology. "I just don't know what else to do. Don't hate me."

She just looked at me like "What the fuck is this, Mom?" and put her fingers in her mouth. I laid her in her crib, an act which she protested louder than ever. As soon as I left the room, though, silence swept through the house like some sort of ghost. She'd gone to sleep.

Victory!

So yeah, child will be the death of me. I'm at the point of tears because now there's a fucking mess in the living room, Randy's still at work, I've gained every single bit of the weight I've lost back plus about 3 pounds more, and I'm too fucking tired to go for a walk after Joss wakes up or play DDR for exercise.

I just want to cry. Oh, and I have ugly red marks all over my right arm from the little incident last night. I hope the WIC people didn't see them, I forgot about them and wore a tank top to my appointment.

*sigh*

*siggggh*

*SIGGGGHHHHHHH*

The hospital is looking like a pretty good alternative right now. I don't have the energy to do anything, let alone clean or exercise or eat healthy. What's the point? Wahhhhh.

[Momoftwins5404]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 3:16 PM

I know what you are Talking about except I have 5 yr old twin boys a 5 week old son & a 4 yr old step-son.  My oldest twin son acts out badly, I just wish i could smack him & make him stop. Then My step-son thinks that it is ok to do major bodily harm to the twins. So needless to say I want to pull my hair out of my head sometimes.

[mtnmama111]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 3:31 PM

Oh honey... go rest!! and forgive yourself!! and know that screaming is a good way for her to increase her strength- my step dad alls it *singing* lol...

I have no real words of wisdom- but vent all you want- we'll be here to listen- and I know just *getting it out* always helps me...

[evwsquared]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 3:52 PM

Cait, go take a nap while she's sleeping. Seriously. Give yourself a time out.

[MythicMMM]

Sep. 24, 2009 at 4:14 PM

I agree with the nap. They make rough days better.

[kandmsm0m]

Sep. 27, 2009 at 8:04 AM

Awww don't worry it will get easier eventually. Maybe after really tough days like this one you could take a little break after your hubby gets home and just go somewhere even if its just to the store to grab a few things you need at least you will have some time to yourself.. That's what I do, just a short time to myself and I start missin my chunky monkey and am ready to start again.