ADDITIONAL STIMULUS PAYMENTS IN 2010

Sometime later this year, we Taxpayers may again receive an Economic
Stimulus Payment
.  The Obama Administration is very excited about this new
program.  Let me try to explain to you how it works using a simple Q and A format:

               Q.  What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
               A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

               Q.  Where will the government get this money?
               A.  From taxpayers.

               Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
               A.  Only a smidgen.

               Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
               A.  The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
                   set, thus stimulating the economy.

               Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
               A.  Shut up.

 Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

 If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
 If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
 If you buy a computer, it will go to India .
 If you buy fruit and vegetables, it will go to
Mexico , Honduras and
Guatemala ..
 If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
 If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
 If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 Instead, keep the money in America by:
   1      Spending it at yard sales, or
   2      Going to ball games, or
   3      Spending it on prostitutes, or
   4      Beer or
   5      Tattoos.

 These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .
                                       ----------------
 So, I'm  going to the Ball Game to drink  beer with a tattooed prostitute
that I met at
a yard sale.

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Comments:

luvmy...
Sep. 25, 2009 at 11:12 PM

Haha cute!

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mtnma...
Sep. 26, 2009 at 2:39 AM

bouncingrolling on floor

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Lokis...
Sep. 26, 2009 at 9:29 AM

I'll spend mine on tatttoos, I've been dying for more!

 

Great post!

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Jewel...
Sep. 26, 2009 at 3:12 PM

haha....good one.  Maybe I'll just cash my check and put it in a sock and stick the sock under my matteress, so the bank executives don't get their xmas bonus this year.

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Erica...
Sep. 26, 2009 at 4:23 PM

I get the feeling we'll be  seeing each other at the ball game :)

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MissG9
Sep. 26, 2009 at 6:53 PM

 

eye rolling

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aluvk...
Sep. 26, 2009 at 11:30 PM

Gotta share this with the hubby. big smile mini

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Plopez
Sep. 26, 2009 at 11:38 PM

eye rolling

 

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NYsoc...
Sep. 26, 2009 at 11:51 PM

that's funny

 

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one_k...
Sep. 27, 2009 at 12:02 AM

Too funny.  I needed to read a good joke.  Keep them coming you clever person.

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