Should I stay or should I go ...

[unsuspected]

Not going back into all the details of the messed up situation, but the evil in law's accountant called us last week to schedule and appointment for my husband to look over the trust paperwork with her (and MIL!!!!).  The appointment is this coming Tuesday.  Alice, the accountant, made it clear that I was not invited, that it was to be MIL, my husband and herself.

I told Robert I will be there if he wants me to be, sc*** her.  He hasn't made up his mind about it because his mom and I are like oil and water and he's afraid there will be some sort of confrontation.  I told him there won't be.  I can bite my tongue while in a public place with her.  But he also said something that hurt my feelings, he said "But will you stay in the room?" 

 It actually pissed me off because when I walked away from the the last HORRIBLE conversation with her, I did it because I knew it was a bad situation.  I was getting angry and emotional and I did not want a fight with her.  Not that I would go out of my way to start a fight with her, but ANY disagreement with her is taken as a challenge.  And she was already confrontational, defensive and gruff.  I knew that anything I had to say could not add anything positive to the situation, so I walked away.

Besides, that incident was here in my own house, with my kids asleep upstairs.  I was not going to engage in an argument with her.  And in this upcoming situation, it will be in an office with people outside the family.  I can bite my tongue.  I always bite my tongue.  The ONE time I didn't was during the separation when she came into my parent's house and laid down the law, talking about lawyers to assert her grandparent's rights to see my kids.  AND blaming my husband's cheating on me ... Mind you, I was about to pop out twins at that point and was under the most amount of stress, heartache, confusion an pain that I have ever been faced with.  I called her a bitch.  I'm sorry that I lost control, but I'm still not really sorry for telling it as it is.

But in this situation, no ... I know I would be able to maintain composure.  Because I would just address any concerns to Alice, not to HER.  Besides, the main point of the whole meeting as far as I am concerned is not to talk to her at all, I don't see why she needs to be there, aside from bullying.  The main point is walk out of the office with hard, paper copies of all the important paperwork that we have NEVER seen in regard to the trust.  So that we can have someone WE trust look at it. 

Sorry,. but Alice is their long time friend and next door neighbor, not exactly a neutral party. 

You would think that as family we would all be on the same side, but no ... she has made it very clear that we are not.

But I guess my question is ... should I leave this choice up to my husband and go along with what he says, or should I declare that I need to be there too?