Figured out why the religious title thing was bugging me so bad!

[Mrs.BAT]

It's my husband! He's been calling me a Wiccan and himself a Pagan. Why? I have no idea! We just joined a coven a few weeks ago, headed by our friend who had a coven once before (that's a long story, but essentially it fell apart because ofone person who was stealing from them and lying). Until we have more people (specifically females) or until I work my way up to actually having earned the title, I'm acting as a temporary High Priestess (I'm the only female, as of now). Well, because of schedule conflicts, we haven't really been able to have a real coven meeting, yet, but our HP has told us to be studying the Wicca 101 books we have, specifically Scott Cunningham. He wants to give us a few quizzes/tests to see exactly where we both stand, as far as "degrees" goes. Our HP is an Eclectic Pagan, and for now the coven is sort of Eclectic Wiccan (he said he wanted to start out like that for those who are newer to the Craft and have only really been exposed to Wicca), but will be basically an open circle.

Since we haven't had those tests yet, and I've been practicing and studying a bit longer than my husband (on and off for about 11 years), I took it upon myself to start kind of quizzing him. Because of that, I think, he's started going on about how I'm a Wiccan and he's a Pagan and this stuff doesn't apply to him! Like his beliefs are somehow superior to my own, even though he doesn't really know all of what I believe, and vice versa! The questions were basically the same type of thing that our HP said he would be giving us, to figure out where to start working with everyone. It's like he doesn't see me as an equal in this and feels that his beliefs are better or something. I wasn't asking questions that were entirely Wiccan oriented. Most of them were magickal questions, like "Why would you cast a circle?" and what different tools could be used for. Some had to do with chakras (like how many), some had to do with the elements, some had to do with Gods and Goddesses, etc.

So I guess that's why it's been bugging me so much. My husband seems to think that my beliefs, and the things we will learn at first in the coven, are irrelevant to him and pointless to even look at. He's read the Wiccan books we have, too. So has our HP! These things are things that we will be learning in the coven, if we don't learn them before. I was just trying to help him figure out where he needs to continue studying and what he already knows about the Gods, magick, etc.

I've also had him and other people sort of quiz ME on this stuff, so it's not like I'm singling him out or anything. He had no problem at all with that, but if I dare ask him "What element is associated with the East?" he goes off on me! Ugh. I only tried this like 2 times with him, maybe 3. Since the last, a week or so ago, I've all but stopped talking about anything religious with him.

Am I being unreasonable, by trying to help our HP out and give us a sort of jump start on the lessons we'll be covering? Hubby says that he would call himself a witch and that he intends to continue learning about witchcraft and the like, and before all of this he said that he would very much like us to work together on some things. Yet now, he seems to have no interest in any of it, so long as I'm involved. I don't know what to do about it lol. I'd LOVE to celebrate Sabbats with him and possibly perform rituals together, etc., but it doesn't look like that's going to happen because every time religion or magick is brought up,he clams up.

[outstandingLove]

Sep. 29, 2009 at 5:39 PM

Have you told him how you feel? I would simply talk to him about it. "Hey. I don't know if you realize this, but it seems like when i try to talk to you about magick you sort of shut me down". See what he says. If he denies it or comes up with an explanation that is his own personal problem then just say, "Well, i've decided that i'll just back off and leave you alone unless you ask for us to work together". Or whatever would be appropriate.

My DH and i are both Eclectic Pagan Witches. But we have VERY different methods. :)