The term doesn't make sense. I'd never heard someone call someone else an anything nazi til cafemom. Why did it start with breastfeeding? Online conversations go like this:

OP asks Why do some women say bottle feeding is bad?

One or two moms say Breast is best. Formula is 100% unnatural. The vitamins in it are man made and not like those naturally found in food. Formula lacks so many of the crucial ingredients that breast milk has for health. Formula is often contaminated. Formula can not be sterilized. Formula increases the child's chance of colic, obesity, illness, respiratory infections, cancers, low IQ, heart disease, diabetes, and just isn't easy on a baby's belly. The DHA they put in it is not beneficial, but harmful and disgusting. You physically can't mock the bond made between a breastfeeding mother and child with a bottle between them. Bottles are made from unnatural materials and they don't provide the oral development breasts do. They're bad for the child's teeth.

Ok. Nothing insulting or wrong there. But in result you get a flood of people saying

Sure breast is best but formula vs breast is just a choice. I didn't want to breastfeed. OR I couldn't breastfeed. I did what was best for my family. It doesn't matter. Breast or formula makes no difference.

OK, definitely something wrong there. Yes, breast or formula is a choice and always will be. No one denies that. However, how can one say that formula is best for their kid JUST because mom didn't want to breastfeed? That's like saying I know 100% juice is best but I didn't feel like taking out my juicer so I gave my child soda instead. I did what was best for her..... Doesn't make sense does it?

As for not being able to breastfeed, it's just usually not true. It's a part of life. Couples make babies. Mothers carry babies. Mothers birth babies. Mothers feed babies. There's no way that all the women who claim they couldn't breastfeed really couldn't. The human race would have died out. The most common reasons I hear are My baby wouldn't latch, I didn't make enough milk, I was taking medicine, or I had a preemie. A latch takes a lot of time and work. Babies are born to be breastfed so no way ALL these kids were born latch disabled. Not making enough milk is another misconception. Unless you have some hormonal disorder or MAYBE had some sort of breast surgery, you make enough milk. All a newborn needs for the first few days or weeks is colostrum, the thick gold liquid mothers make during pregnancy and right after birth. They need very little if this. So long as mother doesn't sabotage her supply with using bottles or pacifiers that reduce baby's time on the breast or use certain birth control, there is no reason for her to have lacking supply of milk. Pumping little milk doesn't mean you make little milk. A constantly hungry baby doesn't mean you're not making enough. Not feeling engorged doesn't mean you're not making enough. As for medications, very few can't be taken while breastfeeding. You can't just assume that any pill isn't allowed while nursing. It is safe and less risky than formula. A professional or a book can help with drug specific knowledge, but doctors are not breastfeeding or drug experts. So a doctor saying you can't nurse on something doesn't make it true. As for the myth that the choice doesn't matter, it does. You may not be able to look at a group of people and point out who was or wasn't breastfed. But is that what it takes? I don't only do what makes an enormous impact on my daughter. I do all I can. That's what parenting is about. When someone points out  Breast IS best, there are very few people who can't breastfeed, and  we should all do the best of our abilities to do the best for out kids, what do people say? Whatever! I formula fed and I don't care. My kid is just fine. It's not bad as long as s/he is fed. Why do you think you're a better mom than I am cause I formula feed? Don't tell me what's good for my kid. Mind your own business. I hate breastfeeding nazis.

Imagine if this were the case for everything. Wearing a seat belt is best. Very few cars aren't equipped with safe seat belts. We should all do what's best and use seat belts. Seat belt use is a choice! I'm no less of a mother cause I don't make my kids use a seat belt. I hate seat belt nazis!

Rear facing is proven to be significantly safer for children in the event of an accident. Most children are withing the height and weight limits to rear face in convertible car seats. We should all do what's best and keep our children in the safest position. So you're saying I'm a bad mom and want my child's neck to break in an accident? RF vs FF is a choice. I hate RFing nazis!

Recycling is better on the environment. It's less trash in our landfills and less resources used. Almost everyone can sort through their cans, paper, and plastic. We should all do our parts to help the planet. So now I wanna ruin the earth? You're saying I'm lazy for not sorting my trash. Recycling is a choice. I throw everything away cause it's best for my family. I hate recycling nazis!  Doesn't this all sound off?

Breast is best. That's a fact. But people just totally pass that and think You're saying I'm not doing what's best. You're saying I don't want what's best for my child. You're saying I'm neglecting my child. You're saying I'm poisoning my child. You're saying I'm abusing my child. You're saying I'm less of a mother for not breastfeeding. You're putting me down for my decision. You're not respecting my choices. You're a breastfeeding NAZI. THAT'S SO FAR FROM TRUE! Nothing like that is said. It's an exaggeration jumped on by dramatic, insecure, and ignorant women. They'd rather insult and call names than stop to think about what's been said/written. Breast is best. It is a choice. You can choose to formula feed but it can not be best because breast is. THAT'S IT! No insults. No name calling. No assumptions. No rudeness. No nazism! Just facts. If you want to formula feed, no one can stop you. But don't call it best (it's not), don't say it doesn't matter (it does), don't say that those who know the importance of knowing the difference between formula and breast milk are nazis who are only out to make you feel guilty (they're not). Just do what you want.

***I made this post in hope that it will get people to think about the insults they throw around and maybe even make people act a little nicer online. It is not meant to be an insult to anyone. If you take it that way, I'm sorry you feel that way. No drama allowed. I have a delete button and I'm not afraid to use it. Please read the whole post and take time to think about it before commenting. Feel free to discuss but do not be rude to each other. I don't want this flooding with ignorance, insults or irrelevant arguments.***

bow down

Add A Comment

Comments:

natur...
Sep. 27, 2009 at 8:32 PM

you rock

Message Friend Invite

mtnma...
Sep. 27, 2009 at 9:30 PM

blowing kissesbow downyou rockbaby gift

Message Friend Invite

Faewds
Sep. 28, 2009 at 12:52 AM

couldn't have said it better myself!

Message Friend Invite

Brick...
Sep. 28, 2009 at 9:44 AM

Reading your post made me think that even though many people know breast is best many of us (I being one) are tired of the breastfeeding moms feeling superior to women who chose to formula feed.  God gave us the technology to create something to supplement for our children especially for us who cannot/shouldn't breastfed (contrary to what many moms will tell you there are many who shouldn't...). 

I rather give my baby formula then to encourage stunted growth, nerve problems, lack of brain development, blindness, mental retardation, etc. from the medications I am on.

I not sure why women are so caty on here but we should be buliding each other up and supporting each other.

Message Friend Invite

my4li...
Sep. 28, 2009 at 10:11 AM

Great journal! In the end we are all women and MOTHERS who came to cafemom for support, guidance and comradery with our daily highs and lows of being a wife and mother. Lets face it being a wife and mother is sometimes a thankless job it's not always a happy joyful time. It's nice to talk with women who can relate to you and your situation. 

We don't need to insult one another with a term like "breastfeeding Nazi" that is just tasteless and DISRESPECTFUL! Before cafemom I'd never heard of such a term! I think it's disgusting to say the least!

I wholeheartedly believe in breast feeding and all the wonderful ENDLESS benefits both mother and child get from it....I am NOT a breast feeding Nazi! Just a dedicated mother doing what is best for her children.

Message Friend Invite

Windy...
Sep. 28, 2009 at 10:26 AM

I love all of the points you make using seat belts, etc. I am so happy I chose to breastfeed. I've never seen anything as beautiful as my nursing infants eyes looking up at me.....well, maybe when he smiles around the nip, lol.  I think one of the biggest objections to breastfeeding, whether it is admitted or not, is the oversexualization of breasts and the fear that nursing will feel or be seen as sexual or inappropriate. I've tried to explain several times that nothing could be further from the truth.......

Message Friend Invite

jus1jess
Sep. 28, 2009 at 10:46 AM

Reading your post made me think that even though many people know breast is best many of us (I being one) are tired of the breastfeeding moms feeling superior to women who chose to formula feed.  God gave us the technology to create something to supplement for our children especially for us who cannot/shouldn't breastfed (contrary to what many moms will tell you there are many who shouldn't...). 

I rather give my baby formula then to encourage stunted growth, nerve problems, lack of brain development, blindness, mental retardation, etc. from the medications I am on.

I've never ever heard a breastfeeding mom say that she felt superior to formula feeding moms. This is really just another assumption and exaggeration that people jump to without reason. There are moms who shouldn't breastfeed, but not at all MANY. Even if that mother herself can not breastfeed (if you must be on multiple meds that have many serious risks to baby then obviously you can't), another woman can or can donate her unmedicated milk.

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

ethan...
Sep. 28, 2009 at 11:07 AM

Great post, and great analogies. What is the kicker in all of this? Nazi is a completely inaccurate representation of Breast Feeding activists. I think that a lot of women take offense where no offense was meant because they don't want to feel bad about the choices they made. I don't blame them, nobody does, but it doesn't make it an acceptable argument. And it certainly isn't an excuse to start insulting people.

Great post, I loved it.

Message Friend Invite

sweet...
Sep. 28, 2009 at 12:36 PM

This is a nice post. However, you may not realize how you make women who weren't able to breastfeed feel.

I basically feel like you're calling me a liar, or a weak person because I was unable to do it. I'm sure this isn't your intention, and truly I'm not attacking you, I'm just trying to help you understand how I FEEL about this post.

I was young. True. But I wanted nothing more than to do the very best for my babies. I knew that breastfeeding was best, and from the get-go, I knew it might not happen. I have majorly asymmetrical breasts. For some reason,  the hormones that made my breasts grow, made one grow a LOT and one grow almost not at all. I am a large a and a large c. My doctors told me that, because I was still young, and those hormones were still affecting my breasts it MIGHT be hard to breast feed. But I was still determined.

When my daughter was born, we worked on her latch. She did okay, but had a hard time switching between the two. And almost NOTHING came out. I tried every trick people told me. Using a syrenge with a tube attached to it taped to my brest to suppliment with formula while promoting a breast latch. Keeping her close to me at all times, trying to get her to latch. I tried and tried. She cried. And then started losing weight. A lot of weight.

Now that I'm older and more knowledgeable, I realize this could have just been the doctors being pushy because I was young.

I repeated this with my son. I TRIED. For WEEKS until they told me he was losing too much weight. I had to supplement with formula, and eventually that became what they ate.

It BROKE MY HEART. I wanted to breast feed SO BADLY. And when you write these types of posts, basically telling me I didn't try hard enough, it hurts! I absolutely have ALWAYS wanted what's best for my children. You make me feel like I don't because I didn't keep trying even though they were losing weight. I just wanted them to be fed. When a baby cries almost every moment they're awake, there is something wrong. Formula fixed the problem.

I feel guilty. I feel like I failed my children. But I'm moving past it. And these posts just remind me of that. I realize I could have just moved on, but I love reading breast feeding stories. They give me warm fuzzies even though I couldn't do it.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear. And I realize you may not believe me. I tried to say this as un-inflammatorily as possible.

 

Message Friend Invite

Rayra...
Sep. 28, 2009 at 12:44 PM

With all due respect, with those analogies, I can understand why a mother who chose to formula feed her child would get insulted. While pregnant, I reviewed the info and feel I made an informed decision to breast-feed my child because I felt breast milk is the best milk. I even extended breast-fed mys son. I appreciated the space, and the ability to make that decision. My sister, however, decided to formula feed both of her children. We discussed how we each came to our decision, and agreed to disagree. I doubt she would have received my opinion so graciously if I likened it to reckless choices like putting her children in a car without carseats, disregarding seat belts, and neglecting to recycle.

I do agree that "breast-feeding Nazi" is a tasteless, ignorant term.

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in