C-Sections Don't Make You a Bad Mom!

[1sttime_mommy2b]

So I have this friend, and while in practice she is a thoughtful and polite person... I'm pretty sure at this point I would like to distance myself from her.

See here's the thing.  She is very very passionate about natural child birth.  Very passionate about breastfeeding.  Fine, I'm cool with that.  Everyone knows that the best way to go is natural.  and breast is best.  ok got it.  My problem is her passion makes her downright judgemental and offensive. 

When I was in labor with my son the cord was around his neck and his heart rate dropped below 60!  While we were able to still deliver him vaginally, he was very close to an emergency c-section.  Had it come down to this, I would have gladly been cut open to save my son's life.

My sister's daughter was in the breech position for most of her pregnancy and she would not drop.  My sister had a c-section because it was the safest way to deliver her child.

While my friend spouts off her ideals she makes no reason why any intervention might be necessary and is very offensive to those that had no choice but to resort to other ways to save the life of their children.

Now I know there are those who for some reason wether it be fear or ...i don't know choose to have c-sections for no reason.  And honestly I know that's who she is fighting.  And honestly it's good that she is so passionate about something important.  But I wish she's do it in a way that didn't make other mom's feel like they did something wrong.

I actually wish I could go back to the night my son was born.  Maybe if I had had a c-section he wouldn't have had to spend 4 days in the NICU.  He also wouldn't have gotten jaundice from the large bruise on his head from the vacuum.  If I had had a c-section the trauma would have been to me and not my son.  I would have been able to hold him when he was born (well, at least gotten to see him for a minute while being stitched up) and would have gotten to hear him cry.  I didn't get to see my son until he was 12 hours old in the NICU.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[shannipoo714]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 9:48 AM

I had 2 c-sections (1st unplanned, 2nd planned) and it defiantely DOES NOT make you a bad mom.  C-section rates are too high in this country, but that doesn't have to do with the moms, but with lack of education and doctors who want to deliver on their own terms.  Your friend does sound very judgemental.  Until she's walked a mile in someone else's shoes, she should not judge so harshly.  Great post!

[MSugarKane]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 9:48 AM

I totally agree with you. I don't think women intentionally want a C-section but circumstances become unavoidable at times.  It does not change who you are as a woman.   Great post!  I hope it shows all moms to think.

[decaturgirl_21]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 10:03 AM

Great post. I had 2 c-sections (1 unplanned, 1 planned). If I had not had a c-section with my first he and I would probably not be here today. He was literily stuck in my pelvis. Even with a c-section they had to use the vacuum and had a hard time getting him out with that as well. Now he is 3 and I wouldn't have changed anything!