How H1N1 is already messing things up; and how to deliver during a pandemic...

[Squirrell34]

I'm 5 months pregnant -- halfway.  What should be a time of great excitement and fun has a twinge of fear & trepidation. 

You'd think it would be because we found out we're having a girl and not another boy.  Well, that's a little scary, but not fear-inducing.  What is concerning is the feel of having to "schedule" my delivery around hospital constraints & the needs of my toddler.  Let me explain.

My son was born via c-section 31 hours after my water "leaked/broke", and was on pitocin for 24 hours. In that time I did not progress -- the entire 36 hours, and the week before that -- I was at 3cm.   If I could do things over I would have changed a number of things.  But the final result was a c-section, and now in order to deliver vaginally, I am a higher-risk VBAC delivery.

The only hospital in my area that is insured and is willing to do VBACs is the hospital I'm currently scheduled to deliver at.  No other hospitals within driving range are equipped to do VBACS.  To use them I would need to change providers, find a new pediatrician, and schedule a C-section.  I have not found a midwife in my area that will take on a VBAC patient.

My concern with staying with my current hospital is that they have posted very stringent restrictions on delivery & post-partum guests due to H1N1.  There are only 2 support people allowed during your entire stay (2 total, no swap-outs) and no children under age 12 can enter the delivery or new-baby wing. 

Not only will I not see my son during the stay, this means we need to find someone to watch my son for the entire delivery.  We don't get out much, and family is pretty far away (5 hours).  The hope is that my parents will drive up once I'm ready to go to the hospital. And hopefully my son is in daycare, and we have time to go to the hospital & for them to get here.  But I'm delivering in blizzard season, so we shall see.  We have a family friend who will help us in an emergency, but I hate calling people last minute, and while they know my son well, I hope he will adjust if he has to stay with them overnight. And my parents, while great for an overnight visit -- they will need someone to check in with them for more than an overnight; due to my Dad's medications (my Mom is fine, just need to make sure she's not burnt out). 

I really want the opportunity to deliver naturally, but am also not sure that I am physically capable.  My Mom had 2 c-sections due to the same issue; it might be genetic; and I don't want to spend an extra day to 2 days "fighting" just to be exhausted, feel defeated, and end up with the same c-section result & a longer stay away from my family.  I really feel as though the deck is stacked against me right now. 

It's almost as though scheduling a c-section makes the most sense for the rest of my family's convenience.  And I'm not sure if the need for a VBAC is really a pride thing for me.  On the other hand, scheduled inductions & c-sections are about as far away from "natural" and I know they can (not always) have detrimental effects on the newborn.   And the recovery from a c-section will also be hard on my son, if I can't pick him up. I'm very torn on what to do.

I'm not opening my post up to the CM community to start a war on vaginal vs. cesarean deliveries.  Or on how serious or stupid the H1N1 pandemic worry is.   It's to get some alternate points of view, and additional suggestions on how to handle this issue, and hear support of either way (whichever one I choose to go).  I have time to think about it, and would like to hear some suggestions.  My mommy working brain is on fry alert, so I need some help thinking this through.

Thanks!

[mmmegan38]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 1:38 PM

 Well hon, I have had both natural and a v-back. I had a mid-wife at my vback. Sorry no nearby mid-wife's are available to do that for ya.

  For me I assumed that all deliveries were natural unless other wise warrented. I know it is hard for you to see that at this point. My first child was vaginal then had a c-section. I never actually felt cheated or worried. That was my 8w. 2 days early baby.

   As for snow-blizzard season. That is when Grant was born too late Feb. Now we do get blizzards here in Md. not as often as you do. However your area is much more well equipped to handle them.

    Having said all that and all worries aside, things happen, kids come early or stay late in utero. So try to just enjoy what is going on with your body and your wonderfully smart son.

  You will do fine, things will be wonderful. You will be welcoming a lovely sweet baby girl. (YAY! I love girls) If things so awry you are smart your husband is smart and you will just deal with it.

   What I am trying to say is all this worry is what parents do. Yes me too. Each one of my pregnancies I had different worries and fears. Guess what they each worked out okay. If you want to talk pro- vs-con on vbac-sections then we can do that too. However if you really need a section you are going to have one. Your secure enough to know what is the right thing to do for your baby and body.

   I remember when I had my second child-Grant was 17 months old- had never had a baby sitter and then I had to be hospitalized due to all the illness, neurological problems and infections. He had to spend the night at our sister in laws house. Then got an Au-pair, Chris and I were gone. His world was turned upside down. He clung to our legs for a few weeks afterwords. It made me cry. He is okay, he was not traumatized. I was--but heck he is at Stanford now I guess he turned out fine...

       My thougths are with you. Do what I did when I was preggers drink malted milk shakes to quelch my fears. xoxox hugs dahlin.

[LoveMyDog]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 1:55 PM

I have a lot of thoughts on this and will have to re read.  But first thing that hit me was the word INDUCTION.  No induction with VBAC.  You are not as high risk as they would have you think.  Unfortunately there is no medium risk.  (There really should be.) 

[Squirrell34]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 3:58 PM

CC -- I agree. 

What I meant was that my 2 choices really are:

1) a planned C-section
2)  waiting until my water breaks and/or contractions are so bad I have to go to the hospital.

If I'm having a VBAC, I'm not getting induced unless there is harm to the baby.  I'm already preparing to stay home longer & not rush directly to the hospital to help prevent this (if it's manageable).

(Original Poster)

[Tigger013169]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 8:41 PM

First of all, Congrats on the girl!!! I just knew it was a girl!! I am so very happy for you.

I can't speak from experience as far as the c-section goes, since I have been lucky enough to have them all vaginally. My daughter did have a c-section, because the baby was breach. There are risks, that is to be expected and you should weigh them into it. But I have seen many women that have had VBAC and been just fine. I think you should try it and see if it works this time. I know how you feel though. If you have to have another c-section, then that pretty much blows your chance at having a VBAC at all. I don't think there would be very many drs that would allow it then. My daughter thought she would be "cheated" out of the experience completely since they had her c-section planned. Well that little girl decided she had had enough and she went into labor 2 days before the surgery. So she felt that because she had felt the labor pains and all, that she wasn't cheated out of the whole experience. You just have to do what you feel is right for you. I don't have much advice for the babysitting of Andyman. I know we had a girl we knew come watch Bry and Andrew when I had Ariel, there was no other way. I had a scheduled induction though. Greg also came home at night after the baby came. Now Cassi was just dying to show off the baby to my kids when we were in FL. They had the nursery window by the outside waiting room so she was able to show the kids the baby. She also was allowed to walk out to the outside waiting room to see the kids (without the baby). So you might be able to do something like that. There is going to be plenty of time once you and the baby are home for everyone to see her and visit. I am so sorry that it has to be that way but it is better safe than sorry. I know you will make the best choice for you and for the baby. Sometimes it just happens that that choice is taken out of your hands. As was my daughter's case since she was trying to get me to be in the room when she gave birth and wasn't comfortable with the dad's mom in there too.

[LoveMyDog]

Sep. 29, 2009 at 4:30 PM

Seems like one of your biggest concerns is how long you will be away from Andy. and frankly, you are just going to have to write that off.  Yes you will be away from him for a few days. It will probably bug the heck out of you especially since you are a working mom. But he will be fine.  You can probably expect your husband to rush home to see him the minute he knows that you and peanut are okay.  That is the way it is with second babies.  Daddy tries to spread himself around since Mommy really can't, and Mommy ends up thinking where the heck is my husband to share this special time with me. 

As far as find a good doctor.  I would call back your area midwives and childbirth instructors and ask them who they would recommend in your situation.  That is how I found my second doctor.  There might even be info on the net. We have hospital statistics available in NY. No doctor stats as far as I know, but you might get lucky.

Unfortunately, childbirth is not something you can really plan out. You have to be ready to go with the flow.  and you have to ask for help. When all your friends are work friends and daycare friends it is really hard.