The scariest day of my life.... so far

[Cierrasmom1700]

As many of my friends know, I was in a car accident September 17th. My mom and I were driving north towards Tampa when a guy pulled out in front of my mom. My mom knowing if we t-boned him we'd be dead, pulled the car to the left and he kept coming.

All I remember was the sound of the metal on metal crunching my mom's 2009 yaris. I saw it all and there was nothing I could do to help. I saw the powder of the airbags and I got a whiff of something that was strong and I went into freak out mode. I jumped out of the car and ran away screaming for my mom to get out... in retrospect... i looked like a fool! But, in the heat of the moment all I kept thinking was I need to get my mom out of this car NOW!

My mom got out of the car and started crying. I had been screaming across the street at the idiot who hit us. Nothing threatening but my big scary "what is wrong with you? look what you did to my mom's car!" (yeah i know.. lame.. but it was all i could think of at the time)

I went into protection mode. I made the paramedics deal with my mom first. When they put the neck brace on me i flipped out and refused treatment. Once they got my mom on a stretcher I almost collapsed. All the adrenaline I had was gone, I had bottomed out. I smiled and pretended I was okay for my mom because she couldn't stop crying. She was so worried I was hurt, that she had hurt me. I admitted later that I was in pain and I accepted treatment. I was rushed to the ER.

I made it to the ER before her. I was in the hallway when they wheeled her in. Again I put on a brave face and told her a million times I loved her. I just wanted her to stop crying. It was breaking my heart. They seperated us. I went to one side, and she was taken to the other.

As I laid there thinking about all the what if's of the accident I was thankful that we walked away. And I was thankful that my dad and my daughter were not with us.

As I laid there in pain, a cop came in to give me the police report number. All I really remember is her saying "Your seat belts saved your lives." I was mad about my seat belt at that moment because I had a gash on my neck from where I was cut from said seat belt.

I ended up walking out of there with some cracked ribs and a chipped collar bone, a few scrapes and alot of bruises. But, nothing major. I left my mom in the ER to come get Cierra who had no idea what had happened. I came home and went on about my normal schedule.

I was back to work the next day, and just worked through the pain. I never cried or handled the emotions that I went through that day or the days following. I made sure my mom was okay, she had some bruising and a fractured leg. She is out of work for a little bit, but is healing nicely.

We were really lucky. I saw pics of the car and just shrugged it off. I am pretty unemotional but today, 11 days later I am now trying to fight to keep myself together. I know if I cry it will be okay, but my ribs are not healing so it would be very painful. So I fight to keep all the emotions buried.

I keep a few friends really really close and count on them to keep my mind off of it. So far it's all working, but I can tell I am on my way to a breakdown. I hear once I have it I will feel better.

I keep having to relive the accident because of the insurance claims and all that. I have pictures of a reminder as well. Not that I need them... I remember every second of that night.

I have been MIA from here, from everything lately... its not that I want to be.. its that I have to keep myself busy. I will get back into the swing of things asap...

Here are some pictures of the accident. These aren't the greatest but they are all I have. The windshield luckily didn't shatter all over me.. But it is my fault it's cracked... (My mom was the driver and I was the passenger) 

[goatmom4]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 7:37 PM

glad your ok

[bella0522]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 8:04 PM

i had no idea!!!  I'm so glad you're ok!!!!

[terri76]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Jax i am sooooo sorry you are feeling this way..i wish i still lived down the road so we could get together..i do miss our talks and fun...reading this has put me back in my emotions when i walked onto brians accident scene and hitting my knees not knowing if he was ok...i hope that it does get easier for you soon..i love and miss you guys!!!!