The Changes in my life

[mapleleafwoman]

During the 23 years I was married, I spent the majority of those years being unhappy. My ex ran me down until I had pretty much no self esteem to the point that I didn't even have the strength to file for divorce. We fought constantly and my children were very affected by it all. Despite this, my oldest promised to "do anything it takes to keep us together".

About the only thing I had left after 23 years was my faith, and I have to say, that it is my faith that carried me through. A couple years earlier, someone in my church had encouraged me to see "Sallye" because she was an "attorney". Wow, what a big word....at the time I didn't even know what an attorney was. And besides, why should I go telling my story to a complete stranger. Then a couple years later, the same person once again brought up the same idea. Similar thoughts went through my head as they did the first time I was given this suggestion. I knew who this lady was but not much more about her. She attended the 8 AM services and I usually went to 10. But God in his infinite wisdom, has everything strategically planned.

The day came when there was an event at the church and both Sallye and I ended up in the church kitchen between services. Little did I know at this time, that the person who had suggested to me to see her had asked her to talk to me. We started talking casually and in one hour, I had more answers to all my questions than I had from talking to any number of other lawyers. She was forthright and open with me, and she became my confidant, my friend, my advisor, and my attorney. I had absolutely no self-confidence or esteem at this point. I had even lost hope.

One of the first things she encouraged me (more like insisted on) was that I go back to school! You got to be kidding me...I barely made it through school the first time and now I am fifty years old. After further discussion, she advised me to go to a doctor and get classified for ADD and then go sign up for classes. I did and it has been a wonderful thing. Today I have 38 college credits under my belt.

The next thing she really encouraged was something along the line of yoga. Something to help you focus. I never really did do this but once more as God would have it, I did join in a kick boxing group for a winter. It got me out among people and most importantly, taught me that yes, I could do it.

The final thing I remember that she had me to do was to contact "Women in Transition", a group run by our county. I attended a few classes and went to talk to someone. This person asked me if I had a licence, then asked if I would ever consider driving a bus. They were offering free training for both in class and behind the wheel. Now how could I turn down an offer like that. And let me tell you, if driving one of those big yellow buses doesn't give you confidence, nothing will! You might want to see if you have anything like this where you live. Not everyone will offer to teach you how to drive a bus, but they will offer various classes on important topics about divorce and such.

One year later as I was sitting with my attorney, she commented to me that I "wasn't the same person that had walked into her office a year earlier". I truly had gone through significant changes. Most important, I was starting to believe in myself again.

[angelfire25]

Sep. 28, 2009 at 9:37 PM

I must say that you are an amazing person to make success out of everything because you never gave up even though their were times that you lost faith. On the self esteem part I understand my husband is so jealous to the point that he says that i cheat on him and always claims that he is joking with me when i get mad. I feel like hes happy when im not doing anything inofe and that is so wrong

[daisyb]

Sep. 29, 2009 at 2:54 PM

 

    What a Awesome story! Way to go-

[kathy067j]

Sep. 29, 2009 at 4:31 PM

Great story! You give me hope