feeling like a mother who has failed

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Rants & Raves & A Lil B*tching

feeling like a mother who has failed
Oct 2, 2009 at 5:23 PM
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- sleepymamaof3
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i have a 9 week old baby, number 3 for me (i also have a 3 year old and a 16 month old). we are thinking (but are not sure) that this may be the last baby (i want another one but he doesn't). i really wanted to give birth naturally, but ended up getting an epidural, which was pointless. after getting it i still felt contractions for another hour or so, and then once they stopped i had the baby about an hour later. i wanted so bad to feel my body giving birth, but i thought that i would be in labor for at least another 5 hours, like my other 2, but it went so much faster this time. then i wanted to bf so bad (i didn't with either of my other 2. with my first i gave up after him trying to feed for 7 hours straight and then when i pumped got not even an ounce out each time - after pumping for 1/2hr - 45 min.) then with my second he wouldn't get off of my breast for two days and i was thinking that it was going to be the same so i stopped and put him on formula. with this one, honestly, i just wanted to rest. it's not easy with 3 boys all 3 years or younger. i gave him formula right away, yes honestly, to make it easier. not only for me, but also for the others. they are very clingy and demanding and i didn't feel like i was giving them all the attention that they needed. i did try to pump, but only got out about 2-3oz a day (and i pumped every 3 hours) for a week, then only a couple of drops. so i stopped that.

i hate reading about how bf is best, i know it is, but at least with ff, the babies are eating and everyone is happy and health. but i wanted so bad to bf, i wanted to really try, but didn't. i didn't go see someone for help to try, it just seemed like it would be too hard on everyone. it's hard ff with 3 little ones and working full time. but i honestly feel like a failure, because none of my boys were bf, and i would really have loved for them to be.

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Oct. 2, 2009 at 5:25 PM

oh hon you are NOT a failure!!!!!! I know you are disappointed but it does NOT make you a faillure in ANY ways!!! (((Hugs)))

ColtsFan1912

Oct. 2, 2009 at 5:47 PM

You are not a failure!

Don't beat yourself up over this- if you are doing the best you can for your kids, that's all you can do...you are not supermom, no one is...

Enjoy your kids every step of the way, they will be grown and gone before you know, and trust me, no one will ask them if they ff of bf... :0)

lovnmy3boys

Oct. 2, 2009 at 5:49 PM

oops... or

lovnmy3boys

Oct. 2, 2009 at 6:11 PM

try to relax, failure isn't an option in motherhood. we have too much to do and not enogh hours in the day. Relax my dear, you have 3 boys, and honestly, hubby is shooting boys so i am sure anymore you would have would most likely be a boy, how much testostrone in your house do you want?? I was never able to bF my kids, any of them. I have pinched nerves in my back that prevents me from being able to do so. Formula is there to use, please don't feel bad that you didn't bf. Your boys look happy and healthy, enjoy motherhood, or at least try to. oh and get some sleep, things always look better when we sleep.

good luck