Feeling guilty for my son condition...

[yashira07]

I know its not my fault, but i feel guilty. His allergies, speech delay and he may have another condition. We think he may have add or odd,we still don't know. I feel somehow it could be my fault. I love him so much and hurts to have a kid with a disability. I'm not ashame and I'm not scare for me. I'm scared for the world outside that doesn't help or care for kids with special needs.

I want my son to be normal, not for me but for HIM. I want him to have the best life he can. I know he is happy and i know he loves me and he knows we love him. As a mother it hurts because he is so bright and he has an incredible imagination but i struggle when i see him struggling to find words to communicate. He has so much to say and he cant, and that frustrated him and me at the same time because i would give anything to take all those things from him and instead i would take them and give him my abilities in exchange.

My son will succed no matter what and i know that it just that it will be a little harder on him than another kids. I just needed to vent. I need to know how other mom do it so i can get theri strength and do what i need to do for my son.

If anyone know where i can find all the laws on special ed i would appreciated because i need them to fight for my sons rights. His at a private school which is at really low cost 150, that it pay by his grand parents. My son stay 2 years on the waiting list for head start and since he needed to star school they pay for a private. Its a non profit organization that only wats to built strong, intelligent and kind young women and men. I love the school and my son loves it too they introduce God but not religions and its not a requirement to believe or to be in a religion. My son loves it and the school, the teachers are wonderful, they are caring and at least with my son they have help wonders. My son cant wait to go there and he immediately go an kisses the teacher and the nurse even the lunch attendants (the ones that cook i forgot how to spell that on English sorry).

I don't want to switch my son to a public school because he had made so many friends there and he is so excited to go there every morning that it breaks my heart to remove it from and environment he loves so much. The teachers has also express to me that they have no problems with him and he does fine in school. He only needs a lot of physical contact when speaks because he wants to make sure you understand him and he doesn't speak in more than 3 words sentence but he follows most of the instruction there and they don't want him to change school because they want to help him. They say he has given them so much love that they are in love with him as in another son for them.

I appreciated the love they have for my son and the patience to, for this i don't want to change him. The special ed department says that my son can be on a waiting list just because he assist this school that is private. I know this is illegal but I need to find all the laws in order to help him. Also if you could share your story that can really help me overcome my feeling of guilt. I feel like i have my hands tide. The money its tight right now so i can't pay for it.

Help!! Thanks for listening i just needed to vent.

[MuddyHuggies]

Oct. 3, 2009 at 9:51 PM

I do believe every mother feels guilty when her child isn't 100% normal. But wouldn't the world be boring and dull if we were all perfect and normal? I have ADHD and dyslexia. My son is heard of hearing, has major speech delays and has ADHD, plus he has seizures. Life can be pretty wild for me and life sometimes is a struggle for us. But it's worth the struggle b/c it makes us stronger. I don't feel guilty anymore b/c my son has problems. My friend told me once, "who are we to judge what is normal?" After that, I threw away my guilt and started fighting even harder for my son. My son goes to a universal pre k. The program has won many awards. I'm still learning the special ed laws here and what rights my son has. The first thing you can do is ask the program director for the special ed book. The book will tell you what rights your son has and what laws are in your area for special ed. Then go to your local public school district and ask them for their special ed packets. Read all the info, and then set up an appointment with your local public school. Ask them what programs they have that can help your son. Drill them on everything. After, compare the two schools. Sometimes if a public school can't offer good services, they have to pay for the private school. It's worth the time and energy. Good Luck to you and your son!

And always remember, their is nothing your son can't do. Be his cheerleader and the world will be at his finger tips!

 

[momneedscoffee]

Oct. 4, 2009 at 12:23 PM

I've always known that my son was a little different.  Just recently, I'd say about a month or so ago, our family dr diagnosed him with ADD with maybe a scoop of OCD.  We are keeping an eye on him to see if his ODD tendencies subside or if this will be another issue for us.  And over time, he may even be diagnosed with high-functioning Autism...but that is one we won't see until he is just a little older.

I feel no guilt at all about his diagnoses.  I've read, and was told by my dr, that the most imaginative and brilliant minds could have been persons with ADD/ADHD!  When I look at my son, and work with him, I see that he is VERY gifted in his own way. 

I do not really even see my son as having a "learning disability"....it actually sounds strange to me when I think about this.  I just don't see it.  What do I see instead?  I see my son who just needs to be taught in a special way to really tap into all he has to offer.

Do not look at his diagnoses as something to feel guilt for...look at it as a blessing! 

[yashira07]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 5:45 PM

thanks for your comments I really apreaciated it.

(Original Poster)