Cockies (because it's as good as I'm gunna get)

[momma_shuler]

I am 12 days away from my due date with our very first child. And despite feeling, looking, and probably smelling like a whale, I could still jump my husbands bones twice a day! But here's the catch....HE DOESN'T WANT ANY!! I'm frustrated!!! It's been 8 days since we've had sex, and I tell you I molested him 5 of those 8 days hoping for some sweet lovin. After a negative reaction for half a week I decided to change my tactics....pretend I don't want any either. And damn it now I don't even get to touch his penis! I keep reminding him that we're going to be parents any day now...and when that day comes....there's definatly no sex for 6 weeks. He seems to have no problem with going 8 weeks with no sex. What kind of man has he turned into?! I tell you these 8 days are the longest we've gone without sex for our ENTIRE MARRIAGE!

 Now, I won't blame him entirely for not wanting to hump a humpback whale. But he could atleast be taking advantage of these last couple of weeks where I actually WANT him to go down there, and it wouldn't kill him to pretend that he likes it!         I know I've let myself go a tiny bit, I mean I only have one pair of jeans that I can fit into that don't have an elastic waist, and my hair stays up in a ponytail 99% of the time....and sometimes I go a few days without putting on makeup...but damn it I don't wanna do any of those right now! So can't we just turn off the lights and pretend I'm stll sexy? It's not like I've gained 100 lbs...and I swear all 30 that I have gained are in my stomach!.....and ass....and thighs.....and back....ok so it's all over. But 30lbs all over is a lot sexier than 100lbs all over!

So as I sit here, sexually frustrated....and hungry....I'm struck with an awesome idea. I'm going to make some peanut butter cookes (mmmmmm) and hell I'm going to shape them like penis'. Because they're the only genitalia I can get anywhere near me right now! So hopefully my husband will mention something....about the penis shaped cookies I'm trying to feed him. And I hope he asks me what in the hell made me think of making a penis shaped cookie. Because I'll flat out tell him "I made cockies because they're as good as I'm gunna get....and they taste a hell of a lot better than your cock too!"

[mommyajay]

Oct. 4, 2009 at 2:14 AM

lmao girl. i hope your cookies turned out well.  Im not sure what to say to comment on your post. men are a pain in the ass.

[KyleeTrogolo]

Oct. 4, 2009 at 2:48 AM

lmfao bekah you are hilarious!!!! i love you. you are one of the few pregos that still wanna bone twice a day this late in pregnancy. i could go the next 5 weeks, then the 6 after and maybe i'll add a few extra and just tell him i'm still sore. nookie is not happy times. cookies on the other hand... mmhmm.

i am sure jon will regret denying you sex sometime soon... then you can tell him to go make cookies.

 

AND you are one of the hottest 9 month pregnant chick i have ever seen, you are not a whale at all but i know it feels like it.

[MSugarKane]

Oct. 4, 2009 at 7:47 AM

Sometimes men get 'funny' about sex when the baby is so big and in the way.   Its normal.