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gosh i'm unhappy at my doctor right now. (not a long rant, just a lil vent.)
- Oct 4, 2009 at 10:07 PM
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- Comments (22) Total Views (327) Everyone can see this journal post.
So I've been thinking.
And thinking.
And thinking some more.
I don't think my depression is getting any better. I've given stupid Cymbalta and Welbutrin nearly six months to work their magic, and nothing much has changed. I felt better for like a month, then everything got all dark and dreary again. I don't know why, I take my medicine every single day just like I should. I've never skipped a day. *sigh*
I just feel that my psychologist and therapist don't care about my mental state as long as I'm not threatening to harm myself or actually harming myself. (I haven't told them about the episodes I've had since I came home from the hospital. I know they'll send me right back, and there will be nobody to take care of Joss. I just can't let that happen right now.)
I tell them that I'm still feeling depressed, and they ask me to say how I feel. "Um, well...hopeless, lonely, sad, down in the dumps, wishy washy, blah blah blah." And they nod and respond with "But have you had any thoughts about hurting yourself or someone else?" I shake my head and say "No." And they smile and say "Good! Okay then!"
*sighhhhhhhhhh*
I don't see them again until the 26th. *grumble grumble*
It's just...I dunno. All these stupid drama issues I have on this website and on others, family drama, weight drama, drama drama drama all around. No wonder I'm depressed and anxious. I just feel like my doctor isn't taking the depression as seriously as she should. And don't tell me I should find another doctor. The state assigned her to me since I have Medicaid. I don't have a choice. She's a great doctor, but I feel that she's not worried as long as I'm not hurting myself. Blahhhhhhh.
Comments:
Hey, have you thought about reading some self help books and psychology books on depression and the other things you are dealing with? I've found that learning about what makes me tick and why has been valuable in learning how to change my thought processes to deal with things better. ~hugs~
Oh, and doctors are A-holes. I just had to get that out there (can you tell I am still mad at my OB for saying I weight too much. lol).
Oh yeah, I told them that I self diagnosed myself with Asperger's, and they both blew me off like I didn't know what I was talking about. I think they underestimate my intelligence because I'm 21 and have Medicaid, hmmm >:) *evil cackle*
Well...it would be really hard to self diagnose yourself with autism, unless you're a complete expert in the field. As the parent of an autistic child, just sayin'.
But...doctors pretty much just suck.
Are you absolutely, 100% sure you have to stick with that doctor? I thought I had to stay with my "assigned" doctor here...or "primary physician" as medicaid called it. I got so few upp with her I went to another, and told them my stiuation and the new doctor's office called and changed my primary physican to her. All I had to do was get on the phone and tell them it's what I wanted. I know you said not to tell you to switch. But, I wanted to make sure your not stuck when you don't have to be. =)
How often do you go outside in the sun?
Vitamin D shortages are linked to depression. As well as dehydration.
You have to get at least 30-45 minutes of direct sunlight on 40% of your body every day to not have a Vit. D shortage. You can get the dr. to test your level of vitamin D.
If it is a shortage, and the U.S. population is in chronic shortage right now, you could heal yourself with just going outside.
Just thought I would offer that for help.
Dr.'s suck, and medicine is worse.
WONDERFUL point to mention this. Being vitamin D deficient (which most of the country is) can eff you up royally.
Hmmm. Try to go outside more often. Count your BLESSINGS everyday. Maybe you are ADHD and are overwhelmed. I know what you mean by not being taken seriously because you are young and on Medicaid. Me too. I am not judging, but maybe change your situation in life? Is there anything that you could change that would make you happier? A move, different spouse, more parental support? What have you got to lose? Can it get worse than it already is? Just trying to help:)
If cafemom contributes to your depression, then you should stay away from it. I know that may be something that you don't want to hear, but it is something you can do to help yourself. This isn't the only social website out there.
My husband is Bipolar. He was spending a lot of time on a particular website. He thought it was just fine. The fact was that the people on there were contributing to his problems. Once he left, he had an easier time getting stabilized.
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Sometimes it can seem that way. A girlfriend of mine struggled with severe depression, and 2 things that she did that helped her out of her constant downward cycle, were the book "The Power of Positive Thinking" as well as getting involved with other personal development materials. She runs a business that promotes some great products and I know they really made a difference for her. Feel free to look at them also and hang in there. Perhaps if you don't feel a strong connection with your doctor or therapist you could find some recommendations from friends or families for someone they know who you could connect with!
- Cari_Z
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