Recap- Week One: Jenna's Gym Adventures

[Guinhyvar]

 So last week I wrote a journal about my weight, my self-image issues, and how I was tired of accepting being heavy. I decided to finally REALLY do something about it. I joined the gym.

To make myself be more accountable, I've decided to journal about it weekly. This is mostly for me, and while it would be nice to have others read it and maybe comment, I know that it can and probably will get redundant. I just want to document my progress, my successes and non-successes, and doing it publicly somehow makes that more of an incentive for me.

However, there might be a few of you out there who are where I'm at, been where I'm going, or who are thinking about making some changes themselves, and so maybe you people can relate. Thus, I write this here.

Anyway- onward and forward, as the saying goes.

So I joined the gym. My plan was to go five days a week. The first day was going to be on Monday (last Monday). I spent the day trying on one excuse after another as to why I couldn't go, and finally landed on "I need to hydrate". Yeah. I mean, I DID need to hydrate, but that wasn't preventing me from going to the gym. The fact of the matter was, I was intimidated. It's been a long time since Jenna graced a gym, and I kinda decided that I was going to be the Only Fat Girl in the whole place. I mean, I had nothing to base this on... it was just what my overactive imagination predicted.

Ok, first of all, I said to self, that isn't how it's going to be. And EVEN IF it were like that (and it's not, goober) then SO WHAT? No one is going to actually make fun of you to your face. And it isn't like that's never happened before. So get off your beeeehind and go. to. the. gym.

Self pep-talks aside, I totally didn't go on Monday. Nope. Stayed home and "hydrated". And by hydrating, I mean I drank some water, took a shower, but mostly drank Diet Pepsi. And I watched Supernatural.

Yeah.

So Tuesday comes, and I say to self, look you, you ARE going to the gym today, whether you want to or not. So after you drop those kids off at school, get on your workout clothes, lace up those tennis shoes, and GO. NO EXCUSES.

Well, when I use that tone of voice, I mean business, so I better do what I say because things just go a lot more smoothly for me if I do.

So I went. I made the eldest boy come with me (Stephen, he's 20, and has a membership at that gym, too) because I'm a chicken. Stephen showed me around and then left me to my own devices while he did his workout. I walked around a little, sipped water from my water bottle, tried to look like I knew what I was doing, and then promptly fled to the locker room where I spent the next twenty minutes or so texting my husband.

I was overwhelmed, you see, and near tears, and wanted nothing to do but get my stuff and go home. I tried to justify it by telling myself that hey, all I said was that I had to GO to the gym... I never said anything about working out. I said, I have issues with anxiety and there are too many people here! All staring at me! (that part is only partially true- they werelooking at me, but only as I wandered into their line of vision; I mean, c'mon... they're stationary, and there isn't a whole lot to look at when one is on a treadmill, know what I mean?). I said to self, look, maybe this whole gym thing isn't for me. Maybe I should....

To which I replied- should what? Listen, you. You've done other stuff, and haven't stuck with it. THIS is something that you have to pay for, and THIS is indoors (I don't like working out outside), it gets you out of the house (I have a lot of home workout DVDs that I never use), and there is a whole lotta different things you can do here! And guess what, everyone here is doing the exact same thing you are- you're not the person who showed up at the party in a costume when it's not a costume party! Meaning that no one is going to look at you funny or anything. So get. out. there.

It was then that I realized how silly I was being. Silly, and letting myself freak myself out. I think too much. I tend to be a little dramatic, believe it or not. I psych myself out of doing things that I want to do/should do because I overthink it.

So I went out there. I got on a treadmill. I pushed some buttons, and made it move. I pushed some more buttons, realized it's not rocket science and that it wasn't going to be all that difficult to manipulate. No one laughed at me. No one made fun of me. Pretty much everyone did just what I was doing- worked out.

I did only the treadmill day one, and nothing else. Day two I did the treadmill, and then I went upstairs to where all the weight machines are. I actually had fun playing with all the different machines, figuring out what I wanted to do, what I liked. I did crunches! Do you know how long it's been since I'd done crunches? A really, really, reallyreallyreally long freaking time! I have abs under this layer of pudge, and guess what! They hate me!

It's alright, though. The pain means I'm actually doing something about the pudge, and that's the whole point!

The first three days I spent a lot of it in pain from working out. I mean, my thighs actually threatened to revolt if I didn't cease and desist what they perceived as insane punishment immediately. My whole body has been in protest. But I didn't give in, didn't quit, and now, just one week after I started, my body has seemed to accept that this is how it's gonna be, and the pain has more or less... gone.

Of course, this is just the first week. I'm cautiously optimistic.

I've chosen Mondays and Fridays as my days off from the gym, and this is so I can go with my husband on the weekends. He wants to go after work, and I want to go during the day while the offspring are in school, so the weekends are the only days he and I can go together.

Right now I weigh in at (deep breath) 181. This is worse than I had thought, I haven't weighed myself in a really looooooooong time. This is the heaviest I've ever been. However, if I stick with it, this number shall change to something more managable, me'thinks.

Ok, so my quest to embrace my health is definitely off to a good start. That makes me happy :)

Peace.

 

 

 

[Rebeccalynn_dj]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 2:34 PM

Great job on going Jenna.  I know you are going to do well.  When you can admit your weight that usually means you are willing to change it. 

Keep up the good work!

[7krystals]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 2:53 PM

You go girl!  I pay for a gym membership I'm too afraid to use alone...  Some kind of social phobia nonsense that isn't nonsense to my brain.  But Congratulations!!! 

[parrishsky]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 4:27 PM

Great start !!

I would say just make sure you get cardio in. Whether that's the treadmill, elliptical, or rowing machine. Work your way into using the weights but get 1/2 minimum of cardio in every time.

I think the reasons I liked Curves were obvious; only women were working out and equal amounts of cardio and weight training, plus just a 30 minute commitment 5 days a week. Anyway, you'll find your routine, keep it up!!

[parrishsky]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 4:31 PM

Yeah!! I've always wanted to use this SweetPea!!!

[evwsquared]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 4:44 PM

Great, Jenna! (I knew that there had to be another exercise SweetPea!)

[RunMomRun]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 5:49 PM

I'm excited and proud of you for going.  No random comment required, see how easy? :P  LOL

[Fistandantalus]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 9:51 AM

Way to go!  You're creating a healthy pattern!

[Erica_Smerica]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 4:11 PM

I am so proud of you! KEEP IT UP!!!

[MamaSueCongdon]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 7:39 PM

Good for you, Mama! :)  Getting there is half the battle. Have you considered hiring a personal trainer?  We pay for me to have 1 or 2 sessions a month, and the gal teaches me a new routine which I use for that month until I see her again.  That way I have a plan in place, and I know I'll have someone to be accountable to, but it's not as overwhelming as having someone kick your butt EVERY time.  I started working out when my son was a few months old back a little over a year ago.  I've gotten down from about 220 at my 6 month postpartum appointment down to 182 (just this morning...wee!).  it's been a long and crazy road - but they key is to just keep moving!  I also committed to training for a 5k, then a 10k (running it this weekend!) and a half marathon (March).  There's a great program that helps you get from running for only 30 second intervals to running for an entire half hour... close to a 5k.  You can find it at www.c25k.com.  Also, if you're looking for inspiration from a fellow scaredy-cat - you can check out my blog.  www.seemamasuerun.blogspot.com. 

 

I wish you the best!

[flitpixie]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 8:42 PM

I'm at 184. Let's see how much we can change those numbers! You've given me the motivation to get of this computer and get my workout in for the day (I've been using the PMS excuse this week).