My new friend, Sharon: met her at Harley's grave...

[DancingK]

On Thursday I visited Harley around 7pm. By then the sun has basically set and the cemetery where she’s at is not lighted very well, so I try not to visit at night. I brought 6 large balloons to tie to one of the garden stakes we have there and a plant with yellow flowers. Normally I don’t ever see anyone there, and if I do they’re leaving as I’m arriving. That night a car pulled up and I didn’t pay any attention to who it was. Someone got out and went to visit whoever was there and then started walking around. I didn’t think anything of it, just kept on picking dried wax off the fake flower petals in the candle holder my sister-in-law, Rebecca had made for Honey Bear’s grave.

 

After a little while, the person approached me working on Harley’s grave. As she came closer, in the light of Harley’s lit candles, I saw she was a woman, in her 30’s, with blonde, wavy hair. Her name was Sharon. She had been crying, pretty badly. She asked if we had a birthday and I said no, that I had gotten some balloons from work and thought they’d look nice on Harley’s grave. She said she liked to walk around and see what people put on their loved ones graves on their birthdays and angel-versaries. She was still sobbing and asked if she could have a hug. I hugged her for a little while and let her cry on my shoulder. We talked about Harley and then I asked her who she had in the cemetery. She said her 18 year old son. By the look on her face I didn’t ask how it happened, but she continued to say he had committed suicide in March (or May, but I think it was March). She asked how the candles have been, sitting on her grave in the heat. I told her they have survived pretty well so far, but we’ll see! She said her son was buried in the wall of the fountain and when she brought candles they normally fall onto the concrete and break, but she had bought one from the dollar store. It was a Mexican candle with Spanish on the back. She said it seemed appropriate because her son was in his 4^th year of Spanish and had it at the end of the day, so he’d come home talking in Spanish, thinking it was funny that she couldn’t understand him. After that she said she’d leave me to my peace and walked back to her son’s grave. She stayed a little while longer and then left.

 

Afterwards I sat next to Harley and started singing ‘This little light of mine…’ to her. My brother came up with the idea for having a candle there because my mom would sing that song to the kids and grandkids. I saw all the candles shining and thought it’d be appropriate. Of course, this made me cry. I then sang ‘Hush little baby’ to her, twice. I cried even more, but I needed to do so. I felt bad because when she was in the hospital I didn’t sing to her very much and the last time she had heard that (which was her favorite song: she’d always quiet down for me when I sang that to her) was when they attempted to bring her out of the coma, but then had to put her back under. I sang ‘Hush little baby don’t say a word. Mommy’s gunna buy you a mocking bird…’ as they gave her more of the meds to keep her ‘sleeping’. I never sang that to her again, and I feel bad. I’m sure she would have LOVED to hear me sing that over and over again to her, but I never did. After I sang to her I told her I needed to get back home, that Daddy didn’t like me being there so late at night by myself. I blew out the candles and went home.

 

I haven’t been back since that day, yet (only because we went up to Prescott Valley to visit Cameron’s dad and step mom over the weekend). I hope that we’ll bump into each other again someday. She said she goes to the church there (Community Church of Joy); I’d like to start going to church again someday and when I do I think I’ll go to that church. I really like it, very nice. She asked if I’ve gone to counseling and I said I haven’t but I’m looking into support groups. She said during the first few months it was all she could do to even get out of bed, let alone research support groups! I agreed completely. I think I was meant to go visit Harley that late at night so I could be there for her. Who knows? Fate is a funny and mysterious thing. I’m glad I could be of some comfort to her, and her to me. I’ve wondered whom I would meet there, going to see Harley so much (I’m sure I’m not the only one who visits someone there that much). It’s nice to have someone there to talk to or reminisce with, but for the most part I like to just be there by myself. It’s my time to visit Harley and talk to her and tell her what’s going on. It’s relaxing for me; I get to visit my best friend and talk to her. I think Harley will always be my best friend. I know she can hear me and it’s nice to just be able to talk to her and tell her how much we miss her, and what’s going on here on Earth. I’ll one day be able to see her again and hug her and kiss her and spend eternity with her. Until then, I have to just be strong and deal with my emotions as they come. We love you, Honey Bear. We miss you so much it’s almost unbearable. Please just stay with us as we continue our journey through life, until we can see your beautiful face again. Love you, baby girl…

[Missy_Dye]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 7:42 PM

awww...I just have to say I wish I could give you a big Hug

[WifeNMommy52606]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 7:50 PM

*HUGS* to you hun.  I am sure you made Sharon's night by just giving her a shoulder to cry on .  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

[lbonacki57]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 5:52 PM

I admire how strong you are.  You are a wonderful mother, and Harley is so blessed to have you.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers. God Belss

[mom2b43]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 10:37 PM

What a story......has me sitting here tearing up.....I dont know how you do it...I really dont.....All I can say is that indeed you are one of the strongest young ladies that I have ever known....and May God Bless you forever and ever.....HUGS

[vnw1405]

Oct. 9, 2009 at 10:09 AM

I agree with mom2b43...I don't know how you do it either.  I was just thinking about you and Harley today and wanted to say hello.  **hugs**

[CinnamonBuns]

Oct. 9, 2009 at 11:42 AM

Thats a beautiful story, I believe you guys were ment to meet each other too. Its nice to not feel alone and help others out.. I know your going through so much right now and you guys are being as strong as you can be. I wish you so much happiness and the best in life.

[3boyz1princess]

Oct. 9, 2009 at 1:30 PM

BIG HUGS TO YOU!!! I want to say your a one super strong woman...

[sherilynn35]

Oct. 13, 2009 at 12:36 PM

Now I am crying reading your beautiful words. Your are an amazing mother and person!!!! Your so strong and I really admire you!! I wish I lived in the same state as you. I'd love to be there for you and spend time with you. You took such good care of Harley and were always there for her. Harley was a blessing to ALL!!!  XOXO

[briellesmama]

Oct. 22, 2009 at 11:42 AM

Katie,

Thanks for posting this. You WILL be with your honey bear for eternity one day. You and Harley share the bond of mother and daughter and no one else is as close to her as you are and always will be. You are so strong and brave. I admire you so much. Please know that Harley is never forgotten. She crosses my mind often and she is so loved, a perfect little angel.

 

Take care,

 

Julie

[lilmama406]

Dec. 8, 2009 at 8:39 PM

aww wish i couldve been there to give y a big hug