WTF?

[sweetsmommy]

The other day my son and I were playing outside at a local train table that is set outside for the kids to play at by our local hardware store. Everything was going well until my 26 month old son took a train from a five-year old boy. I was in the process of telling Daniel that we do not take things from other people and having him return when the mother told me not to because her son was old enough to understand that my son was significantly younger and doesn't have "sharing" down yet.

While that was happening, I get a look from some woman sitting at the bench next to table that clearly said, "Oh my, what a handful your son is." No sooner had I caught the glimpse of disapproving stare when the poor five-year old began crying, kicking and throwing trains and was removed from the table, along with his little brother who looked to be the same age, if not younger, than Daniel. Well of course I felt terrible. So the same woman who apparently felt as though the look wasn't enough, went on to ask if Daniel "was an only child." When I replied, "yes, he is," she shook her head and proceeded to give me a look of disgust that if I swear if I weren't a nice person, I would have slapped it right off of her face. I simply said, "well, you needn't look so pained about it; I'm raising him, you're not." She went on to tell me about her darling daughter, also an only child apparently, whose disposition was much improved after she was sent to daycare. This of course after a young boy who she was using as a chew toy was pulled out of the daycare by his mother who had grown tired of her daughter's cannibalistic tendencies.

Uh, yeah lady. Thanks for the great advice. How about you mind your own freakin' business instead? And as if that wasn't enough, I had another couple who was dining al fresco at nearby eatery keep staring me down as if MY son had been the one throwing toys, screaming and kicking. Yes, I fully understand and accept that his actions upset the other boy, but his reaction was a bit extreme. I know because I had to pull Daniel away from that same table today for taking a train away from a boy again. He screamed and kicked in his stroller as if I was hitting him with a branding iron. But there is a huge difference between a just turned two-year old and a five-year old, who happens to have a younger brother that I'm sure takes things from him all of the time.

Anyway, after this couple kept giving me the stink eye I finally asked them if I could help them with anything and the woman just shook her head and turned around. Eventually they left. But my question is, what the F is up with people?? Why do people feel it's their business to get into yours when you're trying the best you can to deal with your child in a public setting? Why do they think it's appropriate to offer looks of disapproval and disgust when you're clearly trying to handle the problem? I apologized to both the mother and her two boys. I was going to get the train back, but she told me not to so I didn't want to overstep her parenting by doing it anyway. People just really piss me off. And it's not just people whose children are already grown or who maybe never had any. I had a young mom with a daughter significantly younger than Daniel, tell her daughter, "it's okay honey, remember what I told you before, boys are mean," because Daniel was throwing sand. Am I okay with him throwing sand? NO. Of course not, but he's TWO and kids do that at his age. Last year, he was the one getting sand in his face, but at no time did I say to him that an entire gender was mean because of it.

I just wish people could be a little more considerate and less judgmental. Parenting is hard enough without the general public weighing in on what you're doing or not doing. Everyone parents differently and no two kids are alike; not even in the same family, so what worked for your child may not work for mine or vice versa. I just wish we spent more time building each other up and less time tearing each other apart. In the end, we are all in this together.

 

[Angel_Eyes2787]

Oct. 5, 2009 at 9:02 PM

I've had that happen to me as well!  It drives me crazy that people give you dirty looks and stare you down like you're beating your child. My daughter is 2 1/2yrs old she dosnt know any better, but she's the one whos wrong. When the other child was 6yrs old. She picked up the little girls ball. It as sitting next to a bench at the park. Her mother told kiley it was ok & to just bring it back when she was done. As soon as her daughter saw kiley with the ball she freaked and threw herself to the ground.
Just keep teaching yor son right from wrong and forget how everyone else feels about it. You know that he's young and still learning. Keep up the good parenting!!

Nicki

[sweetsmommy]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Thanks Nicki! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my journal and leave a comment! Have a great day and you keep up the good work too!

(Original Poster)