What should I do with this child?

[aprilford2003]

My son will be 4 the first part of November. He is in afternoon preschool and has never been in daycare.

He has gotten in trouble twice in two weeks for not following the rules of the bus (standing up). He does not have any troubles while in school and in the last month or so he has not been the best at home either. He argues, talks back, is rude and disrespectful and just plain bad.

He is not normally like this. He is normally a happy poliet little boy. I am not accepting the "its a phase" or "boys will be boys" explanation for this.

What do I do with him? We have awarded good behavior, punished bad behavior, taken away treats and sweets, spent more quality time with him, talked with him about what is bothering him. What else is there?

[MSugarKane]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 6:23 PM

Don't you wish he came out of the womb with a book explaining what to do with him when he does this or that?

I raised four daughters and now am raising grandsons.  The difference is amazing between the two sexes.  Girls care. Girls sit and play. Girls tend to be easier when it comes to listening skills and learning social patterns more easily.  They care.

Boys , wow, energy plus!  Running, jumping, rolling, body slamming, hitting, their little minds are focused on moving and grooving instead of listening to your actual words and comprehending those words mean something.   

With my four year old grandson and my two year old grandson I have found taking them outside and running them around a lot, walking long distances, jumping off rocks, basically tire the little one out!  And then feed them. And water or juice or milk them.  

Finally they stop moving, THATS the time window you have to talk to them (which could be as short as 10 minutes) to try and reason with them and teach them 1 concept at a time.    One.  Work on one thing you want him doing in that 10 minutes.  Have him repeat it back to you and tell you 'why'.  

Basically though, pick a time of day he is tired enough to sit and listen. You will get through to him, stay calm and ask him 'why' is it wrong to stand up on the bus?  He might not even know since most likely when he has been in a car his whole life been strapped into a seat belt by you.   Without seatbelts his little body, mind , and soul say to himself, I am not strapped in, I can move!   His thought process is simple so keep your teachings to him simple.   Ask him why and let him tell you and he might just stay seated if he knows the real reason behind not standing on the bus.

Well sorry I got wordy here. But it might work?