The power of October.

[MyMikaela]

Have you ever smelled something that brought memories of the past flooding in? For me the smell of Fall is one of the most heart wrenching things. The way the air is crisp and smells like wood burning in the fireplace. The musky smell of leaves and earth takes me right back into time. Two years ago standing on my porch listening to my dad cry as he told me that my mom was dead. Crying along with him taking in deep cold breaths as I stood outside so my babies would not see me suffer. Looking up into the October grey sky as wind whipped my hair around my face, I remember thinking how damp and dead the ground smelled and realized that the weather was suiting for such a awful day.

Its October. The air smells the same as the day my mom died. Its creepy.

[scarrymama]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 9:19 PM

Ouch. I feel you girl...I wish I didn't, but  I know exactly what you're talking about right now.  I have been so affected by smells as well these last few days...I wish I could give you a big hug right now, but since I can't, know that I am sending you thoughts of strength and comfort...and new smells that bring to mind happy times. NEVER GIVE UP.

[Fit_Momma_Of_2]

Oct. 6, 2009 at 11:12 PM

((((((HUGS))))) Feel how I give you a BIG,LOVING HUG!! I am here for you Kelly Belly. These last months we have created this friendship bond, and I truly can tell you that my heart aches for your pain. I can't say I know how you feel, but I do know that I care for you. I really wish that I could somehow take all your hurt, and throw it far away!

[Torienslilmama]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 12:42 AM

YES, any christmas smell makes me feel like my moms is standing right there....... big smile on her face, she LOVED christmas which made me love it just as much.. now that shes not here to share it with me..... christmas makes me feel a little sad. I wish she was here to share it with me.... so i can see just how happy this time of year makes her. I loved seeing that pain go away for a little while, while she actually enjoyed something :( i feel you

[LadyL21]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 3:22 PM

Hi hun,

I wish that you did not have to suffer so much through the holidays but the pain of losing a loved one never makes anything easy.  I can only empathize with you because I have not lost someone the way you have.  However, if you ever need to talk you can call me and if you need a real hug stop on by just to get one.  Even one minute for a hug can make you feel better in ways you would not expect.  I hope you get through this time with even the slightest smile.  Embrace your children and be grateful for having time with them, maybe get out some photographs of your Mom and tell the kids about some good memories you have of her.  Your love and creativity might make you feel better :)

I luv ya, and hugs sweetie.  Do not forget I am here for you :)

OOOh, and I know I am moving but I still want to be in touch as often as possible and the hubby and I were talking and we were thinking that maybe we could help you have a better christmas, maybe you and your family could spend christmas with us.  If you think it sounds crazy or whatever, I understand but I want to make your holidays better.....let me know hun :)