Mommy Math...Can you help me figure this out?LOL

[Kajenloca]

 

I'm not a mathematician, but this is what I came up with...correct me if my numbers are off!

 

I have six kids; subtract one who is not old enough to play soccer yet. That means five pairs of cleats, times two shoes a piece, plus five shin guards, multiplied by two to cover the five soccer children's two legs going into the game, so they each still have two legs coming out of the game.

That is what the equation should be, but we need to subtract three lost shoes and two missing shin guards (not from the same grouping) which means two of the children need to share a pair of cleats and shin guards during back-to-back games.

 

Two of the children have gold soccer shirts, one child can not find the official gold shirt for the 2009 calendar year, so that is minus one. But, Mommy is creative when freaking out before child's soccer game and adds one gold soccer shirt from the 2006 soccer season.

 

Three children have full uniforms, two gray practice shirts, one white practice shirt and three blue jerseys in various sizes, two pairs of blue soccer socks and one white pair, but we have approximately five unofficial socks, minus the elastic, that can intermingle with the official socks when in desperate need as long as you tape them to child's legs. Those three children need all shirts whether they will wear them for the game or not, which means three times two shirts a piece, plus three shorts. Do you want to estimate what percentage is in the laundry pile, left in the van under the seats, in back of the couch or some other wacky location where a soccer uniform should NOT be before a game? 

 

Five kids need water bottles, plus one child who wants one just because the other ones have one. Due to the rainy, windy, winter-like weather, Mommy recommends five children wear long shirts and underarmer under their uniforms, hats and gloves. Subtract three children's warm accessories because they feel they are smarter than their mother and do not need the added warmth. Add three blue, shivering children to the equation because Mommy is sure she knows best. Subtract a thousand brain cells per day since this woman has held the title of mother...add one psychotic episode, two temper tantrums and what does that equal?

 

 

ONE bag of chocolate divided by ONE Mommy who has locked herself in hiding...

Tags: funny, soccer mom, mommy math

Add A Comment

[beanielips]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 10:28 AM

Nope, that is about right.... I may hve calculated two chocolate bars... but maybe I carried a one when I wasn't supposed to!

Wow, your house always make my kids' lives look so calm.

[Kajenloca]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 10:33 AM

You are so right! I underestimated somewhere, but have recalculated to one BAG of chocolate, though I fear I am still lacking in my figure. :) (unfortunately, that is only figuratively speaking, not physically...)lol

(Original Poster)

[MissMelody85]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 10:35 AM

I got confused in the second paragraph lol

[HomeMakin94]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 11:02 AM

Well, Math is like a foreign language to me, but if you make it two bags of chocolate, I figure that should cover the sum no matter what.....LOL!

[ooph]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 11:36 AM

That gave me the shakes.  Must. Find. Chocolate.

[shell81]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 12:13 PM

[PinkSodaPop]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 12:29 PM

HEHEHEHE! -- As always,  a pleasure reading your journals!

 

 

 

[burkemom]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 1:56 PM

Another great post.

[mama4Christ361]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 3:16 PM

I knew I sucked at math in school, but I got Mommy Math!

Poor poor dear. I have some hershey's bars(clearanced for fifty cents for two! I got 20....) Wanna share?

[theyareallmine]

Oct. 7, 2009 at 3:37 PM

Yep. Totally. Must Nom the chocolate now........