For my mother

[Sarah1220]

My name is Sarah. My mother commited suicuide ten years ago, when I was just about to turn 16. We had a pretty terrible childhood because of her addictions and her depression, she was bi-polar and manic. It caused her to make decisions that have and will affect me for the rest of my life.  However it has been ten years now and I have finally come to peace with it, I have forgiven her and have even began to tell my children (all the positive things) about her and show them her pictures.

 

I would like to share this with you all.

Goodnight mother, a few words if you please. I think it's time we talk I've bowed my head and I'm on my knees.



Goodnight mother, I know now you have found your peace. I want to tell you so many things, I miss you and forgive me please.



Goodnight mother, I thought of you today. What are you like now? How's Heaven treating you? What would you have to say?



Goodnight mother, I'm glad you feel pain no more.. The shadows have lifted, the dark become light and no fear waits at your door.



So, goodnight mother. I'm so happy you were set free. Please know I forgive you. I am at peace and I hope you're proud of me.

 

[luvmygrlz]

Oct. 8, 2009 at 10:33 AM

Very heart felt.  Forgiving is hard to do, but releasing it gives you relief.  Best of luck to you. 

[momrocks1000]

Oct. 8, 2009 at 10:57 AM

Hi, I saw your post in answers asking us to read this.  It was beautiful.  Good for you!  I struggled w/my mom's mental instability during childhood but nothing compared to what you went through and I still have my mom so I can only imagine how hard it must be.  Keep healing Mama and God bless you on your journey.

[mmmegan38]

Oct. 9, 2009 at 12:17 AM

Acceptance is hard. My brother committed suicide 2 1/2 years ago.I don't know what it is like to have a parent who is gone --I know a little bit about your pain. If you need a friend or companion to talk to you can always pm. me.

It is hard. Your mother is beautiful in that picture.

  Your sweet to write of your mom. Love and peace to you!

[Belindasummers]

Oct. 12, 2009 at 2:29 PM

Wow this is very powerful. I lost my mum to cancer nearly 2 years ago and miss her terribly. You have grown into a stronger person from this experience. She would be so proud of what you have become. Its lovely you talk about her in a positive way with your own children. It will help you deal with the loss too. Thanks for posting this.

Belinda xx