Redneck Wedding -- It's BAAAACK...

[Squirrell34]

LOL.

For the past year I've been journaling my work friend's exploits in marriage.  Partly because I need a place to vent them, and partly because I need some encouragement that my observations aren't whacked out.

I ate lunch with her today.  Partially because I was lonely & needed human contact, and partially because I hadn't talked to her in 4 weeks and was jonesing for some soap opera theatrics.

We left off about 6 weeks ago. Remember -- Hubby went on a bender 11 months into their marriage -- CHOPPED UP HER DINING ROOM TABLE & SET IT ON FIRE.

The short of it is:
He's "going to" start AA.  She's moving back in, in advance of the AA.  Son in moving in with her.  He's making promises of "renewing their vows" in 5 years.

My take on it is:
As of December, he should be earning his sobriety coins.  If he's not, they should split up.  Since they haven't even celebrated 1 YEAR of marriage, the 5 year thing is a line.  And she fell for it hook line & sinker.  I'm all for second chances, but this guy has a bad track record.   I feel bad for her.  But there's nothing I can do; she needs to change it herself. 

I'd love for this to have a happy ending, but she'll struggle with HIS demons for a long long time.  But if & when he sobers up, or she leaves him -- maybe there will be stability after all.

For you ladies who are in love/living with men who have abuse issues (domestic, substance, etc):  You have friends who care.  But we can't tell you what to do.  You need to tell friends you want help.  And you need to want to get out for us to help you.  You have to make the first step, and not look back.  And we'll catch you, we promise. And even if we've cut ties because your "man" can't be around our families, once you want him gone, we'll be there for you.  Call us.  We hate to see you hurt.  We really do.

[crazyladyw8]

Oct. 10, 2009 at 12:45 AM

Wow , how do you do it. I would not be able to keep my big mouth shut.