I Love Having Energy!

[eema.gray]

We've gotten onto this weird schedule the past few days.  Ranger Daddy and I have gotten into a habit of crashing out super early (like by 7 pm), sleeping until we wake up, getting up/doing stuff, and going back to bed when the energy wears off.  So, yeah, it's eleven at night and I put a cake in the oven 15 minutes ago.  I have peeled and frozen/pureed the pumpkin I roasted earlier, set up the kitchen for tomorrow, cut up a pineapple (yes, fresh, it's really not that hard to do), made pineapple-carrot spice cake, put together breakfast strata for tomorrow, and more or less cleaned the kitchen.  The dishwasher does need to be started yet but I'm considering putting together a pan of eggplant pamesian before doing that.  I've been up for a couple hours already though and I don't really want to run out of energy halfway through a project like eggplant parm.  I'll probably pick up the hall and living room, take a bath, and head back to bed instead.  Ranger Daddy was talking about making chili tomorrow so eggplant parm would probably sit for another day before baking anyway.  Yeah, I'll do that tomorrow night.  Should start soaking beans for RD though.

Do need to clean out the back of the fridge.  That might get pushed to tomorrow.  It would be nice to put a couple containers of chili in the freezer after dinner tomorrow.

Today is my due date.  The past couple days, I've had periods of not feeling well, kind of like very early labor feelings.  But it always goes away after a little bit, which is fine.  I *really* don't want to go into labor on the weekend anyway.  Personal and family medical history suggests this baby probably won't show up before the middle of the week and more likely towards the tail end of the week.  By this time next week, I expect to either have a newborn or be in labor.  

I have a sleep sack pattern I need to cut out and sew.  It's supposed to be baby's going home outer wear but that might not happen.  Still have to wash the bucket seat padding and 0-3 size clothes.  Bassinet crib is set up in our room, we've diapers and wipes.

If I make it till Thursday, I'm probably going to ask Carol for a quickie ultrasound.  The one constant fear I've had throughout this pregnancy is placenta issues due to scar tissue from the manual extraction that followed Yeled's birth.  I don't need to know the size of the baby or any of that; I just want to know that the placenta is high enough in my uterus and attached to the wall normally.  If all looks good, I am strongly considering having an "oops" home birth.  We're less than 10 minutes from Memorial Central/Children's and there's a fire/ambulance station even closer to us than that.  If something were to go wrong, we could have help or get to it very very quickly.  It feels pretty safe, I'm just slightly worried how Ranger Daddy would handle it.  The best part would be not having to worry about Yeled in the hospital (the plan has been for him to come with us).

 Today was RD's first "official" day as Yeled's primary caregiver.  I'm a little scared of losing my happy, sunshiney little boy in the next few weeks.  Ranger Daddy's version of childcare is to zone out on the TV and discipline Yeled when he gets in trouble.  RD won't anticipate trouble; he waits until the child has actually done what he was told not to do, then administers discipline.  They don't read books, go for walks, play in Yeled's room with his blocks and trains and things.  Today was "okay" but if RD doesn't get off the couch more and also get the child outside daily, Yeled is going to go super squirrely on us by the end of the week.  

The problem I have with RD's method of discipline is the way he actively withholds love.  Yeled did something dangerous this evening and got two smacks on the butt as a result.  When he started crying, RD sent him to his room.  Yeah.  Let's just make the child think that we hate him!  I remember as a child, if I got spanked, I also got a hug and cuddle immediately afterwards.  When Yeled climbed out of his crib and hit his head this morning (he didn't want to nap), RD wanted to wait to go him until he gave up trying to open his door and stopped crying.  Excuse me?  You want our hurt and scared son to cry himself out BEFORE you go comfort him???? I don't think so.  I went in as soon as I figured out what the thump and resulting crying was about.  

That boy is normally full of hugs and kisses and smiles; the last day or day and a half, he's become increasingly wary and less affectionate - I don't like it.  I feel like taking back the reins, at least until this baby is actually born.  I've been holding my tongue when Yeled is up because I don't want him to think that if he dislikes abba's decision he can just come to me.  I want us to present a united front.  But this strategic withholding of love and affection thing just feels completely wrong.  RD thinks that to do otherwise, Yeled won't learn his lesson (in the crib climbing incident especially), and that Yeled will think it's okay to be naughty if he gets hugs after discipline.  Somehow, I need to get my dad to talk with RD about that strategy!

[IrishMommaC]

Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:21 AM

Why don't you suggest a split of roles?  You take care of little man and he does the house cleaning/ meal prep?  I can imagine how Ryan would react to that--- but still, our men and their TV can be a bit, well, scarey for extended periods of time.