You and your family could be dead, because of me.

[JoyeAustin]

The most dangerous thing I have ever done is also the one that causes the most shame and the most sorrow when I think back on my past. I used to be a very heavy drinker. I drank so intensely that I lived almost in a state of near alcohol poisoning for quite some time. One of the things I used to during this time was drive drunk. Not just drunk, but black-out drunk. Drunk to the point where I could barely see the road. Every night on my way home from work, I'd stop by the gas station and buy several of the extra big cans of beer and drain them as I sped along the back country roads. I used to go out with friends to bars and clubs and leave so drunk that everything around me was a blur, and I would get in the car and drive. I remember one time, driving along I-95 and realizing I literally could not see. The highway ahead of me was black. I pulled over and stepped out of the vehicle and still to this day I can feel the rush of 18 wheelers as they roared past me, mere feet away. How I didn't actually stagger out onto the road and get smashed, I'll never know. How I never was in a terrible accident, I'll never know... and I can never express my gratitude that I escaped that time in my life without destroying anyone else's. Without causing death or grief in someone's family; my own, or yours. I have bungee jumped, I have sat on the edge of dizzying sheer cliffs, I have circled the sky in a tiny helicopter, I have braved hostile dogs to cut down a horse that was tangled up in rope against a tree. But nothing, NOTHING I ever have done or ever will do is as dangerous, wrong, stupid, foolhardy or regrettable as driving drunk.

[SusieW]

Oct. 13, 2009 at 9:53 PM

wow thanks for sharing that joye , it makes you stop and thinking all of us has our demons we have had or will have to fight. Hugs your a great woman to admit that .

[clarewillow]

Oct. 13, 2009 at 10:04 PM

I give you hugs now.  I think you are an amazing person and it took a lot of courage to write this.

[parrishsky]

Oct. 13, 2009 at 10:13 PM

WOW, That was an intense journal. Thanks for not driving drunk anymore...

[Rebeccalynn_dj]

Oct. 13, 2009 at 10:36 PM

[mars33me]

Oct. 13, 2009 at 11:14 PM

I've done the same Joye, once woke up and didn't know how I got home.  I walked into my living room expecting a friend to be on my couch but found no one.  I looked outside to see my car parked sideways taking up three spots... I don't remember driving home.  When I would drive drunk I would always have a unlit cigarette in my hand, my excuse for the cops pulling me over for swerving would be that I was looking for a lighter to light it.  Yea,, I too was stupid.  I'm proud of you for admitting what you did and I commend you for cleaning up your life. 

[evwsquared]

Oct. 14, 2009 at 2:18 AM

This was so scary to read, Joye. You are meant to do great things---that's why you're here to share this with us.

[mtnmama111]

Oct. 14, 2009 at 3:01 AM

[KelleyP77]

Oct. 14, 2009 at 8:49 AM

You're so brave to share this. You're an amazing woman, Joye, and I'm so happy knowing that you are in a much, much better place now. I hug you now.

[ooph]

Oct. 14, 2009 at 2:33 PM

You are an inspiration.  Thank you for sharing.  Hopefully your story will stop others who are doing the same.  At the very least it will make them think about it.  Again, thank you.

[ssnelson26]

Oct. 14, 2009 at 4:26 PM

wow!  what a testimony!!!!!