Men or grown children

[MOmomof8]

I don't know who's worse at this moment.  My grown married kids were yelling at me on the phone cause November 1st is their daughter's 3rd birthday.  Another of my grown children has a son that will be 1 on October 29th.  So the mommy of the 1 year started making plans for his birthday party & decided to have it on November 1st.  They plan to invite the whole family & everyone in my ex's family lives out of town.  I'm sure they were thinking Sunday for those family members.  Plus the fact that my son is 1/2 greek & they do everything on Sunday even weddings.   I have never been to a greek wedding that wasn't on a Sunday & I've been to a lot of them including mine.  So I have tried to get hold of my son for a couple of days now.  I've left messages but he hasn't returned my calls.  I guess I have to  call his fiance to see how he is doing.  I've had to do this a couple of times before & she has also returned my calls for him, really more for me cause she knows how I am.   I had told my 3 year old's mommy about the party & she said she was thinking of doing her daughter's party on that Saturday.  That would have worked out fine but no, I was informed tonight that they want her party on her birthday so my grandson's party would have to be changed.   Since my son, the 3 year old's dad, called me & was yelling at me I hung up on him.  So his wife calls me & asks me why I did that.  I told her I wasn't going to ague with him & didn't want to listen to him yell at me.  She then starts argueing with me about if he yelled at me or not.  So I hung up on her too.  Then my granddaughter comes to me & says uncle stole birthday.  Her parents say she came up with it all by herself but it sounds like something my son would tell her to do.  My son came down & told me he didn't tell her to do it.  Then told me her party would be on November 1st.  I told him that's fine, my dh can go to her party & I'll go to my grandson's.  To which he replies that I don't love her as much as I do my grandson.  I told him I was there for her 1st birthday & her 2nd.  I wasn't going to miss his first one.  That boy just drives me up the wall sometimes.  I told them to do whatever they want to do but I was going to his if I have to choose between them.  Besides I see her everyday & I see him about once a month which I can't stand but I don't drive & our car is in the shop, again. 

Now why men.  Because I was taking my nightly medicines at my desk & one went down wrong.  I was choking on it & was coughing trying to get it up.  While I'm coughing my head off, not able to breath much, he askes if I'm alright.  Does he get up to check on me when I can't answer him?  No, even though all he had to do was stand up & turn around, my desk is right behind him.  Our recliners & my desk divide the room.  Well, I finally was able to take in enough air to cough the pill up.  He asked me what was wrong so I told him.  He then wants to know if I'm ok now, without even getting out of his chair.  Now I know he isn't feel well, he says he has a cold.  But my God, he was an EMT shouldn't he have atleast stood up to check on me?  I'm just a bit upset with him now but bc he is sick I won't holler at him or anything.  I'll just let it pass but I had to do something with to sooth myself so I'm telling you.  As always, you can read it or not.  I don't care one way or another.  I just need to get some stuff out & this is the best I can think of.  Don't get me wrong, I am glad you read my journals but that's not why I write them.  So if you don't like what I write, don't read.  If you do read & want to comment, please don't bad mouth me or my family.  I know we aren't the Cleavers but most of us do love each, most of the time.  Everyone has their moments.  I'm sure you & your family isn't perfect either that what makes life fun.  As a mom of 32 years that raised 3 boys I think I have earned the right to tell the world when my kids drive me nuts.  But I also tell the world when they don't.  Some days I think I am so lucky to be their mom & then there are days like today that I wonder why I ever wanted to be a mom.  I think grown kids are a whole lot worse to deal with then little ones.  I love babies the best, newborn to about 5.  Then they go to school & learn things you didn't want them to learn & so the madness begins.  Then I like them again when the are in 1st grade until they become a teenager.  I think we should be able to just lock them away until they are 21.  I really don't like the ages of 16 to 25.  That's when they think they have to show off, be like everyone else, or do stupid things they think are fun but costs you, the parent, a lot of money.  Have you ever sit down & thought about how much money you could've had if you didn't have children.  You could be rich or if you are like me, still be broke all the time cause I would go shopping even more than I do know.  I do kinda shop a lot but I'm working on it.  But then reality hits me & I know that I couldn't live without them.  The best thing about having grown kids is the grandchildren.  You know how your mom always told you that you better be good cause one day you'll have kids just like you.  Well, I think I got boys just like their dads.  No, I know I did.  I knew all their dads & each of my sons act like their fathers.  I was no angel but I was compared to my boys.  I never got into trouble that could land me in jail.  I did get a bunch of speed tickets but I didn't total a car until I was 52.  My boys all have totaled a car before their 25th birthday.  It's a good thing that I've prayed for them everyday since the moment they were born is what I was going to say but I started before then.  I guess as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I did have some problems to overcome while I was pregnant with each of them that could have ended their lives.  Thank God for answering prayers. 

Speaking of grandbabies, did I remember to tell you what Rose, 3 year old, did to me the other day?  She loves to hide even though she is no good at it.  She thinks she is hiding when she covers head with my blanket.  When I watch one of my grandkids, I sit in my recline with a blanket around me.  So my dh is sitting in his recliner next to us.  She decides we both should hide from him.  So she covers both of our heads with my blanket.  Well, her face went into my breasts & she says boobies as her eyes light up then says hungry.  I think maybe she's seen my grandson being fed by his mommy too much.  It was hard not to laugh at her but I had to let her know not to do that.  Then she says sorry.  Earlier to night her mommy was wanting her to tell me what she wanted for her birthday.  I already knew & we had looked at them at Walmart today while she was with us.  So she finally tells me after 5 minutes of goofyness that she wants a drum.  I asked her if she remembered that we saw one at Walmart & grandpa had told her maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her.  So I told her mom what we talked about.  When I finished her mommy asked who was bring it to her & she said grandpa.  I said not grandpa, Santa Claus to which she said yeah grandpa.  He does look like Santa & he is a rent-a-Santa at Christmas.  He went to the store again tonight after work & a little boy saw him & told his mommy.  His mommy told him no he's just a man, the boy refused to believe it.  He gets that a lot.  So now I bet when Rose goes to school she's going to tell all the kids that Santa is her grandpa.  I tried to explain that he was just one of him many helpers but she refused to except that. 

I am very proud of my 1 year old grandson.  He is walking all over the place & given up the breastfeeding.  He did it all on his own with no pressure from mommy.  She said he was wanting his sippycup more & more until he just stopped nursing completely.  He has done these things 2-4 weeks before his 1st birthday. 

Oh, before I stop, you remember what I said about mom's always telling you that one day you'll have a kid just like you.  Well, I didn't give birth to my daughters but they both act just like I did at their age.  So I guess life gives it to you one way or another.  I never really though about how much I was driving my momma nuts, until now.  Having 2 daughters is alot different from my 3 boys now 4 boys. 

[MSugarKane]

Oct. 16, 2009 at 6:23 AM

Ah!  I know so well the competition of my daughters between which grandchildren I love the best!  And of course we love them all the same as we loved our children all the same, but the competition for my time and efforts put into each grandchild is always compared somehow, someway.  

I guess this will never end.  I gave up a year ago trying to explain myself about that!  

Great post!  I loved reading it

[ratchetgirl]

Oct. 16, 2009 at 9:59 AM

See when you said I had to be nice that takes me out =) HAHA

Ok, my thoughts are this. If they have planned a party on the first, and taken the time to invite out of town guest then that should be there day. It is rude to go and have a party on that day now, or ask them to change it. No matter if that is Rose's real b day or not. I think they could have said, hey I want a party on this day would that be ok and saved allot of trouble though. My kids hardly ever have their party on the real day. However, it is the babies 1st birthday and they only have 1 of those. I would go to that party too and understand your thinking. Could they just have the parties together, that would be fun for the kids and after all that is who the parties are for =)

Drum's, now that is a great idea. LOUD ones. =) that is what I got my sisters kids one year, when she had ticked me off. HAHA

[MOmomof8]

Oct. 18, 2009 at 1:49 AM

Both parties are on the 1st, as far as I know now.  The times will be different & Rose's will be in Sikeston so we won't have that far to drive, less travel time, more party time.  That's how I feel about the 1st birthday thing, too.  I think the kids like to tell me the plans knowing I will tell the others & come back to them with their reply.  I do have a bad habit of doing that so I'm working on stopping that.  So that's my fault.  One of these days I will learn to stay out of it, tell them to call whoever for an answer.  Nick is planning on inviting his dad's family so a mixed party won't work. 

The drums isn't a problem for Brandi or Nathan.  They both think it's cute but we will see when she starts driving them crazy with it.  I'm just going to say you asked for it & you got it so deal with it.

(Original Poster)