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Being a SAHM
- Oct 16, 2009 at 2:30 PM
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- Comments (7) Total Views (83) Everyone can see this journal post.
Today I left Facebook because of an ongoing argument with one of my oldest and dearest friends. Sometimes I would make my status a "vent" like save me from my children, or something like that. My thoughts were NOT always negative, because not every day is like that. I was just sick of her wiseass comments all the time. Rather than just block her, I left. What started out as a minor tiff between her and I has turned into a huge ugly nasty fight.
I'm baffled by all this. She says - you need to be happy, thankful, and be more positive. I'm lucky to be a SAHM, I know. I'm lucky to have my boys - took a over a year to get pregnant, and a difficult pregnancy to have them. I love them with all my heart. HOWEVER, they are almost 3 and there are two of them - which makes my days somewhat stressful sometimes! I sit here during the day and sometimes I just need to vent to my friends on here or on FB. I do not see a problem with this! My friend said to me - How would you feel if someone said - Save me from Betsy. Now come on really? I just can't believe another mom doesn't get this? She has 3 kids, a hubby who works til midnight - I know she's on overload sometimes. To me, its better to vent than to keep it all bottled up - right? I don't have too many friend I can just pick up the phone and call during the day (esp bc then all the boys want to do is then talk on the phone.) I use my computer as my contact w/ the outside world. yes, I am addicted! I know that! However I'd rather vent, then to take my frustrations out on my children or get cranky and so with them!
I'm having a hard time forgiving her for all that she's said. Its gonna be a long road to back where we were before. But she is Zach's godmother, and I am her son's godmother. We'll get there, but its gonna be rough and some things will be forever changed.
Comments:
Betsy, I agree with you 150%!! You know I too have twins are are about 4 mths younger than your boys. Yes, you do love your children with all your heart & would do anything for them but YES, they can make you crazy at times! And if you can't vent to your friends - especially one who is a mom herself - then who can you vent to?! I don't understand why she doesn't get that. I am here - whenever you need to vent! I understand your frustrations. And your right - you need to vent so your not cranky with the babies! Sometimes it just feels good to have a b*ch session!
Also, I too, had an argument on FB, with my own cousin! And we are both Godmothers to each other's sons! All b/c I babysat 1 nite for her. The next day she posted on FB "A has a cold" - I commented "UGH! Hope the twins don't get it!" I didn't see anything wrong with that. Would have said it to anyone - I say it when Lon & I are sick! She blew it wayyy out of proportion & told me I "attacked her & made her feel like a bad mother." So we too are trying to fix things - but things that have been said will never be forgotten.
Good luck mending the friendship. And again, I'm here for you.
I think people just feel differently about venting! I am with you on the venting. That is how I get my frustrations out. I also have my blog and I write a ton of stuff on it that I never publish for the outside world to see. My mom is a lot like your friend. I call my girls heathens a LOT! Because trust me they are. It is often said in love or as a joke, but it drives my mom crazy. I would say just give it some time. Both of you probably need to calm down at this point and I think you did the right thing to take a break! Always feel you can come here and vent! We will be her to support you!
i understand you completely!! i vent online all the time. most of the time thru emails to greg! lol the problem when we post something online is we are not going to please everyone. there is always going to be someone that doesnt agree.you just have to learn to let it go and not take it personal. its very hard being home all day, especially with young kids. i've had my days when i wished i could just run away..... everyone has them!!
Betsy I do understand the need to vent. I personally dont like to do it on Facebook or CM. Typing things out/email/internet posts many times can be misread. One of my other friends went thru a similar situation where someone commented on her constant negative posts and it turned into a huge mess. Good luck with your friend hon!
You know that I know all too well exactly where you're coming from... there is no need to bottle it up inside. Things DO get very stressful with twins, with one kid... with ANY kid in general ESPECIALLY when you're a sahm! Altho I keep my Facebook for just the "fun stuff" LOL and do most of my venting on CM, there's a reason for that... CM is a little more personal. I also had SO many issues on FB that I left over a year ago... too much drama. I am back on now, BUT my profile is as private as possible . I really hope you and your friend work it out, but I don't think you should have left the website... only because that's what I did, and after thinking about it, didn't seem fair to me to have to do that... and it's not fair to you either.
I understand you & you know that from my venting on here. Yes it makes u feel better when u get it off your mind. As moms we should help each other out not judge anyone. I am sorry if anyone doesn't feel stressed out w/their kids they are not being honest. Vent any time I am here for u. As for the friendship take a break and things will work themselves out.
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I can completely agree with you. I have a 8 yr old daughter, a 2 1/2 yr old potty training and one on the way. I am a SAHM and I am grateful and thankful for my family, but I do know what you mean about the venting online. I do it all the time. I probably would have blocked her and stayed on facebook. I know it gets old, but I have alot of friends on there that I do not see all the time and I like to keep in touch with. I am sure with time all of this will blow over.
- homemommie
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