mom2queenie2004's Journal

Just somethings that fall out of my head

I am all for letting kids be kids. I really wish she were a little slower at things than she is. Reading at 3. Lost her first 2 teeth shortly after turning 5, the third is about to come out. Homeschooling her since forever because she just wants to know everything. Being the way she is and being just 5 stops her from doing all that she wants to do sometimes. It breaks my heart when she isn't allowed to do something she is perfectly capable of doing just because of some arbitrary age limit. She has not been able to participate in reading contests just because she wasn't "school-aged". Reading is her passion and it has been hard for her to understand why others are telling her she can't read. These things pop up and I just wish I could help her understand the "why's".

Our church does a Christmas musical each year. She has been in the choir for the past 2 years, this year she has tried out for speaking parts. I understand why they go to the older kids, I get it, I still don't think it is fair. She is trying out for a smaller part tonight, that yes, I know will go to an older girl, I have talked to DD about this to prepare her. It just makes her more determined to get the part. She has such drive and determination. I want her to keep that.  She has the part memorized already, just for the try-out. She will have to do a cheer, I have worked with her and she has some movements all ready for tonight, she is ready to go. I know the other girls trying out. I would fall down dead from shock if any of them had anything memorized, even just one line. Last week it was my turn to help judge for the other try-outs, 2 of the girls wanted us to turn around while they read their parts because they were too embarassed. They are both trying out tonight for this part, and one of them just might get it just because they are older. Not because they put their week into it, stuyding, remembering lines, working on a cheer. Not because they worked hard, or have ANY intention of doing so. Just because they are not 5.

I find it hard to believe that my thoughts are misplaced. That we are doing the wrong thing. My kids are told no, they have boundries, they know that others get to do things they are not allowed to do. If it doesn't hurt or bother others, is safe for them and something they want to do we let them do it. For example I would not have let her try out for a lead role, to me that would be too much for her, it would not have been good for her.

I just wish I knew how to make it better for her when someone else gets picked tonight. Not someone else who was better than her. Not someone else who tried as hard as she did. Not someone else that would do their best. Just someone else that wasn't 5.

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