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Punishing...
- Oct 19, 2009 at 8:32 AM
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- Comments (6) Total Views (150) Everyone can see this journal post.
How do you punish a child who doesnt care that he's punished??? My 8 yr old DS has been so out of control lately! We take things away & he doesnt care, we send him to his room, doesnt care etc. Yesterday DH & I took the 3 of them out to dinner. Our 8 yr old sat in the corner of the booth with his hood on sulking because he had to sit next to his father since our 2 yr old wanted to sit next to me. We told him his behavior was unexceptable, my DH told DS how he's hurt b/c of his behavior & DS just grunted & rolled his eyes! If we werent all in the middle of eating, I would have left. We get home & DH is trying to play with DS & DS just kept yelling at DH... Finally I said my peace with him. I told him that one day he's going to be all alone. Being rude & nasty to his father is wrong & he needs to apologize. That his father is not going to bother with him anymore & neither will the rest of us if thats what he wants. He said fine. I made him get PJs on & go to bed. It was 7:30pm. This morning he gets up, says good morning to me, not DH...goes inside & turns on the TV (a no no on school mornings). I tell him to come in & get breakfast & he stomps in & puts the box of cereal on the counter & goes back to the TV (after I told him to shut if off). WTH??? HES 8!!! So he has breakfast, I go up to get clothes for him to wear, come downstairs to tell him to go up & get dressed... again the effin TV is on. He gets up stomps over & pushes me out of the way! I was stunned I didnt say anything except "Excuse ME!" He goes up & gets dressed... So I make him turn off the TV when he came back down (for the 3rd time this morning) and sat him at the table in the kitchen. I told him thats where hes going to sit as punishment until I say otherwise. He gets no TV, no Nintendo DS, no computer, no toys. He sits at the kitchen table. Im out of things to punish him with. And it never seems to work. IDK what to do anymore :( Im so stressed out with his attitude & behavior.
Comments:
I know how you feel except mine is 5. Rhyan is the same way and it is like what am I suppose to do. Time-out doesn't work even though we still do it, taking things away works to a point but then he just finds something he can do and forgets about whatever it is we took away. I don't know what to tell you.
Dani32, your suggestion are great! i am going to try this.
ya know, i've never really had behavior issues with my kids and i really believe it to be for a few reasons.
1. very little to no tv
2. very little to no sugar, absolutely no caffeine
3. very little to no video games
4. i've always been consistent, if i say i'll do something I do it. there is never any doubt that my kids know Mom is NOT kidding.
5. a stable home environment where the kids are hardly ever too hungry or too tired.
I never lose. my kids suffer greatly when they do something stupid or disrespectfull. If that means stripping the entire bedroom down to one pillow for 5 days. so be it. If that means throwing the clothes away they didn't pick up, so be it. If that means removing all of their toys and letting them watch me take it to Goodwill so be it. I know it sounds rough, but I'm serious. Since early on, my kids know they do not have a choice when it comes to doing what they are told and behaving properly. I don't understand why children would know that they have a say so or a choice when it comes to behaving properly.
I agree with Dani, the phrase " I don't know" is completely unacceptable at our house. And when it is ever used, I go through the whole scenario with them to show them psychologically why it is that they do "know" why they did what they did. Just take a no lose attitude, and be consistent always, and things will turn around quickly. good luck.
I agree completely with Jewjewbee. That is how it is to a tee in my house. It works. People always ask how I can control 5 kids and thats how. Now I have a son who is in the process of some serious mental health issues, he has no care of consequence either. He has been without most everything for a long time and he could care less. But there is an underlying issue with him. My advice would be to listen to jewjewbee here. after a couple months of that and he's still like this maybe look into other reasons. Good luck
Might be time to pull out the belt and force him to go out with his father one on one. Sounds like they need some alone time.
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I have a 9 yr old son that had issues with his behavior. I made a list of rules and posted them on the fridge. We discussed the rules and I had him tell him what they meant. So there wouldn't be anything like "i didn't know mom." I had him write lines when he broken them. Eventually, writing lines didn't work. Today, we have the consequence jar. In it is chores (pull weeds, clean toilet, etc)..if a rule is broken, he picks from the jar and does the chore. If I tell him to do something and he doesn't move then, I stand in front of him with my arms crossed until he gets up. I refuse to argue with a 9 yr old. Also, he has to do push ups when ever he throws a tantrum or back talks. For instance, we were at wal-mart and he wanted candy. I told him no and he started his tantrum. I told him to "drop and give me 10" He did push ups while we checked out. He only has done it a handful of times in public. Now, he is the best child in public because he knows he will "drop and give me 10".
- Dani32
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