One of those things alcohol can't Make better.....

[Amorentia]

Peni Clearwater written by Amorentia, Marcus Flint written by shtteredprncess., Sara Black written by shtteredprncess, Blaise Zabini written by Amorentia  (Character POV"s color-coded)

Before I even walked out the door with Peni, I grabbed what I thought of as a survival kit for making it through round 2 of these tapes.  I had a full case of Sam Adams Utopias MMII, the strongest beer made, and had spent several hours perfecting the spell to refill the bottles.  I would make it through these video's with a smile, even if it killed me.

We knocked on their door, Blaise's face less than thrilled as we walked in, Sara smiling happily on the couch.  My Pretty Peni was practically bouncing as she squealed, "I'm soo excited!" and some part of me wondered just how much she liked pain.

Sara reached out, taking Blaise's hand, her brown eyes sparkling and I felt bad.  I knew Sara.  I knew once this movie started she would not be sparkling anymore.  Peni...see...Peni actually enjoyed this.  She was watching it the second time by her own free will.  I was watching so I wouldn't get in trouble.  Sara and Blasie...they just didn't know what they were getting themselves into.

I put the movie in, taking my place on the couch by Peni, leaning forward and grabbing the first of the many many beers I planned to drink before these tapes were over.  I placed the pack in the center of the table, figuring there was a good chance Blaise would need one before the day was done.  I had time to chug the first one back and refill it before the move started and the torture began.

As soon as the internal view began, Blaise's eyes went to the ceiling.  Cheater.  Determined to do better than I did the first time, taking another swig, I kept about 80% of my attention on the film.  The other 20% was being made to feel better as I watched Sara's face turn pale and her hand squeeze Blaise's.  She had given birth and this shit still freaked her out.  I was not the odd ball here.  I felt better still when Blaise's eyes squeezed shut, his whole body flinching at the word "cervix"  and he actually tried to hum quietly to block out "mucus plug."

Blaise tried to half ass it, looking over at the wall, but Sara's eyes just narrowed slightly, still looking at him until he finally looked her way.  "Do you want to be there for this or not?"  her tone left him no option.  Blaise sighed in defeat, turning his eyes back to the screen.

"Look at the baby..." Peni coo'd, ""It's so beautiful."

Trying to behave, I gave the movie my full attention once more, watching as the kid began moving down the birthing canal.  Watching them turning it and tugging it, my stomach flipped along.  I leaned over, kissing Peni lightly as I apologized for the horror I was putting her through,  "I'm sorry you have to do this 4 times"

Peni just turned to me with a glare, "Shut up..." grabbing the top of my head, she turned it back to the terrible movie, "Watch the video. You promised to be there damn it."

Sara was shaking her head at Blaise, who was once more looking up at the ceiling, "Maybe Ab can just come..."

Peni looked at the bottle in my hand, laying down a new rule I hadn't been counting on, "But you can't drink when i'm in labor."

Looking at Peni as I drained my bottle for the 3rd time, I told her, "I'm coming, I promise...it just looks like it's gonna hurt...allot"

Blaise asked the room in general, "Am I going to see the internal view?" Before turning to Sara to add,  " I was thinking more waste up."

"It's not so bad." I insisted. "I've had four. Never all at once, but..." The picture of the baby gently making it's way into the world showed on the video warming my heart. The whole process is so worth it in the end If having one wasn't so bad, four....."How bad can it be?"

"Gorgeous," I heard Sara say sweetly to Blaise. "I was thinking you could sit between my legs and catch them as they come out," I almost burst out laughing before she even finished, "Ya know, so their Baba is the first person they see..."

The look on Blaise's face was priceless. It was a mixture of revulsion and fear all mixed together. A lot like the look on his face during Bliss's birth. For a moment he glanced back at the screen just in time to see the placenta detach and start to slid out of the vagina. He literally lifted himself off the couch, pulling his legs up yelling like the placenta was going to slide out of the video and onto his Gucci shoes saying, "Good God! What the hell is that!"

"Not like you haven't been through it before." I rolled my eyes at him.

"I didn't look." Blaise insisted. "What do you take me for?"

"You do not want me to answer that questions." I said slow and deliberate.

Marcus looked over at Sara teasing Blaise, "You guys could do a home delivery like we are, there's the great position Blaise, where she can bend over and you can lean behind her as they come out":

As I looked at Marcus I could feel the couch behind me moving by some jester Blaise was giving Marcus. "That's a great idea," I chimed in putting my arms through Marcus. "Home births are so wonderful." Squeezing his sweet cheeks I turned his head back to the video. "And you can be just as supportive as my sweet man."

Planting a kiss on Marcus's cheek I watched as he drank more. I let go of more of my expectations of the Quad's birth as Marcus looked completely freaked out watching the baby working it's way out as the Mother pushed, "Is it stuck???"

"I was just thinking the same thing!" Blaise yelled. All I could do was roll my eyes.

Flint's horrified expression mirrored my own when he asked, "Did it just go back in?"

"It's a process!" Peni insisted. That woman had to be a glutton for punishment.

"That's just wrong." I turned my head from the Tele again staring at the wall hoping these horrendous images would not be permanently burned into my brain.

"Can I drink in labor?" Sara caught my eyes looking just as distraught as Flint and myself. "Has anyone looked into this?" I, myself, thought that was an excellent question. For a moment we all turned to Peni, the resident expert on the whole birthing fiasco.

"Come on!" Peni seemed outraged by all of our very healthy revulsion of the video. "It is the most natural thing in the word. We all came out this way..."

"I most definitely did not..." I corrected her. "I didn't... Morowa Zabini.... I didn't.... Not like that." I insisted, sure my Mother would have rather have killed me in the womb that gone through this. Of course she never had more children. 

Flint kissed Peni on the head making me think he was a complete suck up when he said, "Your right baby, completely natural." Then he redeemed himself by muttering, "In some alien culture's or something..."

"It looks like it's hurting the baby!" I told them. These videos had to be wrong. "It's all twisted!"

"The uterus is like a hug for the baby!" Peni protested. I had to agree with Flint - some nightmarish alien hug before the Mother eats her young.

"The baby looks fine..." Sara said upset with wide eyes. "That's gonna be my PELVIC BONE. Twice!" When she hit my arm, I knew I deserved it. I can't believe I did this to her.

"Isn't there another way?" I looked at her apologetically. "Like something more natural."

"Are you planning on getting them out by osmosis?" Sara asked.

Thinking there might be hope I asked, "Can we do that?" Again we all looked to our resident expert for an answer.

"NOOOO!!!!" Peni looked at each of us like we were ridiculous. "You have to birth them out."

It appeared Sara's hopes were shattered as well. Shaking her head she said, "No wonder I died last time, this shit looks horrible."

"If I was a woman," I told them. "The world population would decline rapidly cause I would refuse to do that. No offense baby, I love you, but if I would have seen this I would have never done that to you." Then I looked at Peni sincerely. "Or to you twice." Looking over at Marcus I shook my head, "And you're making her do this four times? What kind of sick bastard are you?" I shrinked back feeling Peni's iron hand connect with my arm. If her uterus was half as strong as her hand no wonder why she didn't mind the birthing experience.

Marcus' eyes were huge as he turned Blaise's way, "I didn't see them first either" pointing at Peni's stomach he played Reg's game of passing the buck, "This is the ancestors fault!

I watched Peni smack Marcus' arm with the same force she had given Blaise's, "You're both bastards! Both of you!"

She turned to me, apparently looking for backup, but my concentration was on remembering how to breath.  groaning at the images of the head sliding into the pelvic bone, "I'm never having sex again"

Blaise looked at me like somehow, this was being unreasonable.  I wanted to smack him and tell him maybe if he was the one having to do THAT, he would understand.  Instead, he turned to Marcus, "Flint, look what you started. Why are you always trying to ruin my life?"

"I didn't get her pregnant!" Marcus protested, pointing to Peni, "I got her pregnant and she still likes sex!"

Blaise exclaimed, "she's a freak!" Seeing the outraged look on Peni's face, he tried to back up his statement, "No offense but it's true."

I did hit him then, "Shut up!  She is not a freak..well, not how you mean!" 

Peni one upped me, elbowing him in the jaw, "Opppps. No offense." she said, before turning on all of us, "And I think all of you are freaks.... birth is a wonderful blessing..."

I exclaimed, "Hey!  I defended you!" I leaned up, kissing Blaise's jaw where the red mark was, catching the movie out of the corner of my eye, seeing again what I was in for.  Leaning back, I glared his way, "Oh shut up your whining"

Peni laughed, looking my way, "That's with a tap to his jaw. Imagine if he had to push a baby out of his...."

" A tap?" the wuss beside me said, still rubbing his jaw.  Seriously, he's whining about that and I have to push a watermelon out of my....and twice!

"Suck it up. Watch the next video," Peni said, turning to rub Marcus's back,  "You can do it baby."

Marcus laughed, pulling Peni close, "I love you baby, your fantastic, there's no way a man could do this cause women are so much better than we are" he was grinning.

I glanced over at the wuss, tenderly fingering the swelling bruise on his jaw, raising my brow, "I may replace you with Marcus"

Blaise cut his eyes in my direction, "Then you'd have to do it four times?"

 "Oh, Merlin, not for that part! There's no way he's touching me with that device of torture"I looked at the expressions on  Marcus and Peni's faces, "No offense" turning back to Blaise, "But at least her can look at the video!"

"Baby you can touch me with it all you want!" Peni exclaimed, making me smile.

Blaise looked at her, offering "Waist up, baby." taking her chin in his fingers, "Me and you eye to eye the whole time!"

I knew it worked when she laughed, asking, "Do I have to be there? It doesn't look like fun"

I couldn't help but grin when he seriously considered it, saying, "I"ll talk to House and see what we can work out."

Chuckling, I leaned down and said near Peni's ear, "Wanna play with my torture device?" loving her giggled "always"

Sara shook her head in our direction, "Only you two would get turned on by this crap"

I started the next video, "Come on, we're not done...2 down 2 to go"

" I think we've got the general idea" Blaise protested as it loaded.

Sara turned her eyes to Peni"2 down 2 to go...sounds like your labor to me!"

My Pretty Peni just grinned, "And i am looking forward to it. I've already had four. And it's not like they're all going to try to come out at the same time."

Blaise looked at her horrified, asking the question on my mind, "Can they do that?"

She rolled her eyes, "The holes only so big."

His thoughts obviously followed mine to all the stretching down there we were being forced to watch, "Apparently not."  and then there was silence as the video finally began.

"What are the numbers for?" Blaise asked, " Count down to horror?"

As the head dropped further and further down the numbers, it began to squeeze into an odd shape and Sara cried out, "What the hell is wrong with it's head?"

Turning to Peni, I searched for reassurance, "It goes back to normal right?"

Peni sighed, looking at us like we were all morons, "It does. That just helps the baby come out. Totally painless."

Blaise cocked a brow in her direction once more, "Obviously no ones squeezed your head like that before. And we all wonder why they cry when they're born."

My sweet Sara leaned on me saying, "Let's discuss the drinking idea some more. Thank Merlin I was not lucid for this last time.  You never would have touched me."

"I think it's a very good idea, sweetheart." I told her honestly. I had every intention of talking to House first thing in the morning to work that out. "We'll drink to the birth of our twins... before they are born."

"You all suck." Peni pouted. For a moment I wish I could just give Sara and my twins to Peni to birth since she liked it so much. Peni could have popped them out like light sneezes, and I wouldn't have to worry about my Sara dying in the process.

"I didn't say anything!" Marcus pleaded with Peni. "I was being good!"

"You're right that wasn't fair." Peni's voice got that nauseating sweetness it did when she gushed over Flint. "You're being very good."

"Notice he's refilled his beer about a dozen times." I pointed out not-to-quietly to Sara.

"People should not watch these movies." Sara actually looked a little scared. It made me want to hurt Flint for making her watch this. Ignorance really is bliss.  "I mean, this is a horror movie.  Bring on the blood, guts and vampires...this looks way worse." I had to agree with her. Sara looked at Peni and Flint, smacking Flint's arm, "What the hell where you thinking showing this to me?"

"I know, Flint." I was one hundred percent with my girl on this one. "You can ruin a wet dream."

"Peni said they would help!" Marcus defended himself earning him a swat on the arm from Peni. So much violence from such a small thing. Yet another reason I think she actually liked this stuff. She had issues that needed professional help.

"Help what?" Sara yelled at Peni, "Scare me to death?"

Peni gave up trying to argue. Crossing her arms she leaned back on the couch.

"Ok, ok," Flint rallied us. "Let's just watch the last one!  We're almost done!"

"Can't we just close our eyes?" Sara begged me.

Looking in her beautiful brown eyes I pointed from her eyes to mine reminding her, "Me and you, baby. Eye to eye."

Then I looked feeling my face contort. All at one all four of our heads turned at a thirty degree angle to the right watching the bulbous head of some freakishly large child sticking out from between the poor helpless Mother's legs. Taking a glace around I saw every one's eyes were wide with object horror except for Peni's whose were smiling with soft eyes. Issues.... that woman had lots of issues that needed serious professional help.

Flint put an arm around Peni. Little did she know it was just an excuse to close his eyes tight behind her to not watch anymore. He covered with a whisper, "I'll be right there baby, the whole time!"

Thankfully the video was done. Standing up I felt like I needed a cigarette, and I never smoked. Looking in the eyes of my pale, terrified girl I pointed again from her eyes to mine assuring her, "You and me baby... you and me baby, eye to eye, the whole time."

"Is it too late to change my mind?" Sara looked back at me not at all reassured. "I don't think I wanna do this anymore..."

"You know..." Peni leaned forward saying finally, "in some ancient cultures whenever a women was in labor the man was kept in a separate room with a rope tied around his nuts. The other end of the rope was by the woman in labor so whenever she felt the man should share in his portion of the pain she could make him. I've always appreciated the old ways." Issues... I tell you... issues....

Sara seemed to like that idea. Instantly I knew I wanted her hanging out with Peni a lot less as she smiled saying, "Let's do that...That sounds fair."

Together Flint and I both raised our beers draining them completely, and refilling them again at the same time as I'm sure we were both thanking our lucky stars we were men, glad it wasn't ancient times, and hoping if we drink enough we will both stay intoxicated until this whole birthing nightmare is over.

[Amorentia]

Oct. 19, 2009 at 11:37 AM

Want to read more? What to join in the Creative Writing fun? Our full stories are in Through The Looking Glass. Link HERE to join. Be sure to tell them Peni sent you!

(Original Poster)