Cafe Mom sayings I hate

[lvpenguino]

Maybe I'm the only one, but I hate reading these favorite sayings in posts:

1) Put on your big girl panties. Underwear is optional for adults, I understand this. I personally don't care what kind of underwear you wear, if you wear any at all. I also don't see why big girl undies would help someone in a debate or life situation. Are people wearing diapers at home? What does this even mean? Are your underwear too tight? Are we so defined by the role of mommy that we use baby talk in our examples? I prefer "grow up." It's more succinct and it sounds like something a person responsible for not only their own well being, but that of tiny human lives, as well.

2) Milk is for baby cows. No, milk is a delicious and healthy consumer food product. I frequently drink it. So does my one-year-old. It's not like I hook her right up to a cow teat in a barn. It's homogenized. It's pasteurized. Don't like it? Don't give it to YOUR kids. Quite frankly, I don't care what you're giving your kids. You could breastfeed your 15-year-old while they're both driving and sitting in a forward-facing carseat and I still wouldn't give a crap. Here's some help for navigating this site, though. When a question comes up about switching to milk, don't click on it. You obviously have someting against milk for your children, but those questions aren't about milk for your children, and your over-used, under-considerate tagline makes you sound like a cow. Hey, now it's OK for your kids to drink milk.

3) I'm a chef, a banker, a nurse, a gardner, a blah, blah, blah... Whether you work outside the home or not - no, you're not. A chef is a highly-trained culinary professional. You make hotdogs and casserole. You probably couldn't even cut it as a line cook at Denny's. Don't get me wrong. You get no help in the kitchen from your husband, so I understand the food duties falling solely upon you. But that doesn't make you a chef any more than it makes me Dave Barry. Just because you balance a checkbook doesn't make you a candidate for Secretary of the Treasury (although you might be better at it than the guy that's there now). Every mom plays those dozens of roles. You know what that makes them? A mom. And there's nothing wrong with that. Let's not over dramatize or over romanticize it.

4) Breastfeeding/Carsear/Insert-descriptive-here Nazi. I'm as annoyed as the next person by those women that call moms lazy for not whipping out their boobies in the mall, the dollar store, McDonalds, what have you. But Nazi? Yes, they have a warped mindset about their role in the raising of your children (in that they haven't figured out that they have no role in the raising of your children), but that doesn't elicit the term Nazi. It's not like they can take your kids away. Or lock you up and take away your freedom, pride or life. They just want you to feel bad about your parenting skills and be scared that something bad will happen to your kids. That doesn't make them a nazi. That just makes them a bully. In a million years I will never understand how a group of women that should be able to unite behind a common cause would instead rather spend their time online scaring the bejeezus out of moms in whatever fashion they can muster. Being a parent is terrifying. Every day. If you're not seriously afraid that something you've said or done won't somehow negatively impact your child for the rest of their life, you're either A) lying, or B) not spending enough time with your kids. We don't need any help being terrified about raising a good kid.

5) You only point out errors in grammar when you don't have a valid argument. Grammar matters. Maybe not to you, but it does to teachers and employers. And while you may not answer to either, your kids will someday. Look, maybe it's not the end of the world that you think I should have used its just now, and their, there and they're are all the same thing to you, but for goodness sake, take a little pride in your writing. You've only been using the English language for the past 20 years or so. Shouldn't you know this crap by now? It's not rocket science. It's grammar. Kids in other countries know two languages, and you don't think we should hold you to the rules of just one? Life is not a text message. Is it really that hard to type out the word you? It's two extra letters. I'm not asking you to diagram a sentence. Just spell right and use good grammar.

 

Tags: cafe mom, over used sayings, breast feeding, grammar, moms

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