Rrrrrrrr........ (SOME CURSSING)

[jada2514]

JUST SO PPL KNOW IM VENTING RIGHT NOW........ SO THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR LISTENING (OR I SHOULD SAY READING)

 TODAY STARTED OFF IN A RUSH PUT PRETTY OK,  I HAD AN EARLY DR APPT AND WAS IN A MAD RUSH TO GET THERE ON TIME. MY HUSBAND HAD THE DAY OFF AS WELL AND AN APPT TOO.  IN OUR RUSH TO GET OUT THE HOUSE WE LEFT IT IN A PRETTY DISASTURES STATE WHICH I PLANNED TO CLEAN UP WHEN I GOT HOME.  ANYWAY, SO I GO TO MY APPT HE GOES TO HIS AND THEN I COME HOME. I PUT MY STUFF DOWN AND BEFOR I CAN START TO STRAIGHTEN ANYTHING UP HE STARTS TO BITCH AND COMPLAIN THAT I LEFT THE HOUSE TRASHED.  HE THEN STARTS TO WHINE ABOUT HOW HE'S ALWAYS CLEANING UP THE HOUSE SINCE I STARTED WORKING. ( KEEP IN MIND THAT I JUST STARTED WORKING 4 WEEKS AGO AND BEFORE THAT I STAYED AT HOME AND DID ALL THE HOUSE CHOURSE AND NEVER ONCE GOT SO MUCH AS A THANK YOU) I TELL HE THAT A: I DO CLEAN THE HOUSE BEFORE I GO TO WORK EGO; I JUST CLEANED THE KITCHEN FROM TOP TO BOTTOM 3 DAYS AGO; B: THAT WHEN I SEE THAT HE'S DONE SOMETHING IN THE HOUSE I ALWAY THANK HIM FOR IT WHETHER IT BE VACCUMING, WASHING CLOTHES ETC; AND C: HE NEEDES TO HELP OUT! FOR THE LAST 10 MONTHS IVE BEEN WITHOUT A JOB IVE BEEN DOING THE HOUSE WORK MYSELF WITH NO HELP. AND I DIDNT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. I FINIALLY GET A JOB (WHICH HE ALL BUT FORCED ME TO GET WITH HE DAILY CRYING ABOUT BILLS) AND FIND OUT IM PREGNANT  (WHICH HE WANTED) AND I CANT EVEN GET A LITTLE HELP WITHOUT HIM BITCHING. WHAT?? AM I SUPPOSE TO COOK, CLEAN, TAKE CARE OF OUR DAUGHTER, WORK AND DEAL WITH THE STRESS OF PREGNANCY BY MYSELF AND HE JUST DO NOTHING TO HELP OUT??? AHHH.... HE JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH. THEN HE WANTS TO HAVE AN ADDITUDE ALL DAY AND ASK ME WHATS MY PROBLEM? MY PROBLEM LIKE IM THE ONE WALKING AROUND WITH A CHIP ON MY SHOULDERS.  HE JUST REALLY PUSHED MY BUTTONS TODAY AND IM SO UPSET RIGHT NOW I HAVE A HEADACH........... ALRIGHT THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT.

[kkbird]

Oct. 20, 2009 at 4:52 PM

isnt that always how they are, never helping but the first to want "their" needs met at bd time right. No matter what kind of day we've had or night with dinner,baths,teeth brushing,putting the kids to bed, still folding laundry and recleaning the kitchen after dinner, while they do what?????  I know girl , I am with you...take care, and good luck w/the pregnancy!!!!

[jada2514]

Oct. 20, 2009 at 5:01 PM

Thanks. At least i know im not alone.

(Original Poster)

[MSugarKane]

Oct. 21, 2009 at 6:48 AM

Marriage is a partnership with both people doing equal chores if both are working.

He is not your father, he is your spouse.  Let him know that.

The crap that accumulates is not all yours I am sure. Look at it all and say lets do this together! 

Training a spouse to stop being lazy and be supportive is like potty training a kid.  It takes time but the efforts are worth it in the end.

Your calm, your assertiveness during the process is what will get the process to occur after a period of time.  

good luck